Just Breathe and Stay Human

Senator Hutchison Congratulates the Lady Aggies

2011-04-19T22:13:00.000-07:00

GO TEXAS A&M. What an amazing NCAA Championship womens game. The mens game was less than less ... The womens game was the NCAA GAME!

Coach Blair is my new hero.
Danielle Adams is also my new hero. Watching her mom, grandma and greatgrandmother root her on in the stands sent chills up and down me. Thats some real herstory!

Women Student Athletes rock ...
Now we take a two month breather before the WNBA season begins. Go Sparks.

Peace, Love and Basketball.

The-Cardinal-Channel---NCAA-Tournament-Special---Episode-3

2011-04-01T00:09:00.000-07:00

Tara is flying high as the girls land in Indianapolis for the Final Four! Go Stanford! Living mindfully!

Stanford-Womens-Basketball---2011-Spokane-Regional-Champs-

2011-03-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

My girls rock! Going to the Final Four! I love these Stanford women -- Tara - NCAA coach of the year by her peers. Bounce! Living mindfully!

‪Stanford Basketball : "I Got Bounce" Official Music Video‬ : HD Version

2011-03-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

... Brains, brawn and now bounce. Stanford women rock! Sweet 16 here we come! Headed to Spokane, Washington this weekend.

This is a special team ... We are going all the way, and then some. Geno, Pat and Kim won't know what happened.

Bounce !!!
March Madness!

Stanford Women's Basketball Highlights vs Cal and Senior Day

2011-03-04T22:15:00.000-08:00

Senior Night! I love my Stanford Women. Excellent last game at home --

Heading into the Pac 10 Tournament next week at USCs Galen Center and Staples Center ... Then back to Stanford Maples Pavilion for Regional first and second round (my birthday weekend).

Women student athletes rock.
Go Stanford.

'Rango' Trailer HD

2011-03-03T23:27:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah! JOHNNY DEPP weekend !!!!!!!!!!!

Peace, Love & Basketball (and movies).
Namaste

long time coming

2011-02-24T22:44:00.001-08:00

Its been a long time coming,

and I have to say .........

where did the weeks go?

Been watching college ball.

My Stanford women are #2 in the nation.

Gonna rock March Madness.

Oh ya, I was on Jury Duty for a month.

It was like being in a parallel universe.

Time did stop --

All things good.

Was home to see my niece. Her baptism. Beautiful baby girl.

Living, loving - -

Namaste.

Vice President Biden: It Gets Better

2011-01-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

VP Joe Biden is my hero. He rocks. Im so grateful I heard him speak to people who stutter several years ago at National Stuttering Association conference.
He uses the story of his stutter to reach out to LGBT youth - This is one of the best "It Gets Better" video yet.
Thank you Joe!

Stanford vs UConn Highlights 12/30/10.mov

2011-01-03T00:35:00.000-08:00

Great video highlights of game.

I cant get enough of the awesome game last Thursday night, Stanford taking down UConn. The Maples Pavilion was shaking from an hour before the game ... and fans wouldn't leave after game was over. A night to be remembered (forever). History !!!!!!
Stanford women rock! Winning today against Cal - opening game of Pac 10.
I'm eager to see the Rankings tomorrow. Stanford better be at #3 ...

Go Cardinals!

Lila Grace says HAPPY NEW YEAR

2011-01-03T00:14:00.001-08:00

Lila Grace ready for a morning walk ...

Happy New Year from little Santa, 5 months old!

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-01T21:18:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year.

After returning to Los Angeles from a week at home in San Francisco, it seemed fitting to head to the beach this morning. I did my usual walk from Venice Beach Pier to Santa Monica to Will Rogers Beach and back. Beautiful, clear day. Great way to bring in the new year. Lots of tourist out, taking in Southern California in the Winter. The beach was full of life, as we brought in the new year.

The Rose Parade was held this morning in Pasadena. Considering all the rain we've had - it was clear, crisp, sunny day for a Parade (and to show off Southern California to the world).

Tomorrow Stanford begins the Pac 10 league at Cal. Next weekend USC plays at UCLA. Women's basketball is in session ! Yes!

Im getting my head wrapped around beginning the new year with my LCSW, and how the next months will roll out. A moment at a time ... Mindfully. God is leading me ... The possibilities are endless, and Im eager to see what all 2011 has to offer.

Happy New Year.

- nora

(The other picture is of the Golden Gate Bridge! Ha! My aunt and I spent Thursday together ... we had breakfast at The Cliff House (with my Marion and John), overlooking the ocean ... then drove through by the Legion of Honor and down into the Presidio and across the Golden Gate Bridge. We parked at Marin's Vista Point and then drove up Marin Headlands. The view was spectacular. We spent the afternoon in Sausalito. We strolled along Sausalito's scenic downtown streets, taking in the delicious assortment of shops, art galleries, fine dining restaurants, cafes and bistros ... and a stunning view of the Bay, and downtown San Francisco. The weather was clear, sunny ... after the rain and wind of preceding days. Good time with my aunt -- )

Blue Valentine - Official Trailer [HD]

2011-01-01T21:04:00.000-08:00

Painfully honest and tender. Pulls at your heart in every which way ... Gasping for air, trying to make sense of (and live) life. Ryan Gosling at his best ... !

It was the movie that Jaimee and I chose to bring in the new year with ...
It wasnt a downer or an upper ... It was life. Living it, not shying away from the depths of pain and joy that life hurls through and at us -- which is all I can ask for, of me and those I choose to live life with.

happy new year ...
namaste.

Stanford BEAT UCONN! Womens Basketbal Press Conference

2010-12-31T16:24:00.000-08:00

Great interview by Coach Tara, Nneka, Jeannete and Kayla.

Stanford had dropped to number nine in the nation after consecutive losses, DePaul and an overtime loss to Tennessee. We were ready to show the nation that Stanford was still to be Feared, and not be messed with --

What an amazing week of basketball in Palo Alto. Stanford walked all over Xavier on Tuesday, 89-52. They never had a chance. We beat Xavier by 2 points last March (at Sacramento's Arco Arena) to get to the Final Four. This game was no contest.

Last nights game has been sold out for weeks .... The excitement has been building since Stanford lost to UConn for NCAA Championship last April. We bought our tickets two months ago ... Loran, Kim, Paul, Claire and I have been ready for this game for quite some time. UConn broke the 88-game record winning streak last week set by John Wooden's UCLA men's team , and were at 90 wins before the game last night. UConn hadn't been to Maples Pavilion since 1993. And the last lost UConn had was to Stanford in the Final Four, 2008. Although the news, media, talk around town - was about All American Maya Moore and the UConn Huskies winning streak ... we knew better! UConn was coming to Cardinal land, and we wanted this game.

Maples Pavilion was shaking last night, sold out - 7,400 Stanford fans! Nationally televised game ... my mom, dad, brother, sister, nephew ... friends across the nation, my uncle ... were all glued to the television. We were at the game! Witnessing herstory!
... Fans on their feet for most of game ... the roar was non stop. UConn was never in the game, but kept the score close. Maya left her skill outside the Pavilion. And Pohlen came to play with 31 points. It was basketball at its best. We sent a clear message to the Nation - that Stanford is here, and ready for the Pac 10 season to begin. We also said "Geno, go home and don't let the locker room door hit you on the way out!!"

And of course, Kim, Loran and I went back home and watched the game again (DVRd it), and it was just as sweet!

Fun times.
Living, loving, laughin!

Peace, Love and Basketball.

What a week! Life is sweet.

2010-12-23T23:24:00.000-08:00

What a week! Life is sweet.
I received my 10 year plaque for at work Holiday party for staff and clients on Monday evening in El Monte. Ten years at Walden House.
The next morning, I woke up -- took the Clinical Vignette Exam at 9am in the City of Carson, and passed. I am now a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Yup, me! I did it! Me, and only me!
I took my DBT and Seeking Safety guys bowling that same evening. I never knew bowling could be so fun. Even had a woman pick me up in the snack bar area. Erik was laughing; as I was trying to keep an eye on where all my clients were in the arcade.
Then Wednesday ..... another Holiday party at work. More sessions, and two groups.
Today - took my caseload to First Congregational Church for noon Pipe Organ Concert. The church was decorated magnificently The Christmas music filled the sanctuary and filled up myself and my clients ...
Got home tonight ... wrapped presents, packed my luggage while watching This Christmas .... I'm going home tomorrow. Everyone's waiting for me ... Let the Holiday Spirit continue to shimmer & shine & shake.

Thank you God.
namaste.

'The Good Wife' recap: 'It has to be right'

2010-12-15T10:02:00.000-08:00

'The Good Wife' recap: 'It has to be right'

Excellent article! Click on link above.

The Good Wife is the best show on TV right now ... (and its not a Showtime or HBO production!) Go CBS!

Kalinda lover,
nora

The Twelve Days Of Justice

2010-12-14T20:27:00.000-08:00

Love this guy --- His wink is so sexy! Queer folks are more creative, fun, smart (and on & on) than any other folk. This life, our world would be so friggin' dull if it were not for progressive queer folk.

Deck the halls ...

BLACK SWAN - Official HD trailer

2010-12-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

The much anticipated BLACK SWAN delivered!
Excellent film. It's in your face, up close, demanding your attention ... Just like Darren Aronofsky did with Requiem for a Dream (his maddening masterpiece). Black Swan is unsettling at its best ... touching the perfectionist in all of us, and how we lose ourselves. The insanity ... Must see! (A few scenes were a bit over the top ... and it was welcomed!)

Mirabai Ceiba: A Hundred Blessings

2010-12-04T20:36:00.000-08:00

When this song (and album) was released in the Spring it had me swirling in delight and wonder for several weeks. The arrangement continues to fill my spirit. The video is a magical work of art. Many blessings to Rumi.
Love conquers all. Live mindfully in truth my friends.

A Hundred Blessings - Rumi
When Love comes suddenly and taps
on your window, run and let it in,
but first shut the door of your reason,
even the smallest hint chases love away,
like smoke that drowns the freshness
of the morning breeze.
To reason, Love can only say
the way is barred, you can't pass through,
but to the lover it offers a hundred blessings.
Before the mind decides to take a step,
Love has reached the seventh heaven.
Love has climbed the Holy Mountain.
I must stop this talk now and let
Love speak from its nest of silence.

World Aids Day

2010-12-01T10:16:00.000-08:00

World AIDS Day is celebrated on December 1st each year around the world. It has become one of the most recognized international health days and a key opportunity to raise awareness, commemorate those who have passed on, and celebrate victories such as increased access to treatment and prevention services. The World AIDS Day theme for 2010 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights'.

According to UNAIDS estimates, there are now 33.3 million people living with HIV, including 2.5 million children. During 2009 some 2.6 million people became newly infected with the virus and an estimated 1.8 million people died from AIDS.

What are you doing today? Awareness. Concern. Educate. Service.

Get into action, and remain. We all are responsible.

Namaste.

December is here ...

2010-12-01T09:53:00.000-08:00

I love this time of the year .... The air is crisp in LA (not crisp enough for me but still nice -- ). I love the feel of a new sweater; and scarf with my pea coat. I love the feel of tall boots, and the clicking sound as I walk. The taste of hot spiced apple cider!

The sound of Holiday music playing in my home; the decorations that hold so many memories placed around my sanctuary; the smell of Cinnamon Spiced candles; and the warmth of snuggling under a red blanket, reading a book drinking tea. Holiday movies to watch. The wreath needs to be bought and poinsettia plants ... And thoughtful Holiday cards to be mailed .... Ice Skating downtown at the LA Live rink! The beautiful Christmas Tree at The Grove.

And Jesus is coming. Our sweet baby Jesus ... We have some weeks to go ... And Mary and Joseph don't know whats coming their way yet. The earth is beginning to rattle ... Celebration of the journey ... Celebration of life!

Santa is coming too ... Oh, and how I love the joy in my nieces faces as they sit on Santa's lap. They are embraced by with the Christmas spirit and love.

Love each other madly, today and always.

Namaste.

Grateful --

2010-11-29T09:17:00.001-08:00

The week came full circle --
Began with grateful, and ends with grateful.
Only to begin the week that way -
Thankful, grateful --
Blessed.
with the best.
Life is good.
Life is sweet.
The Kings Speech rocked the theatre. Blew me away -
Stanford stomped Texas yesterday - Loving my girls. First ranked game of the pre-season. Cant wait to be back to see them play Xavier and UConn at the end of the month.
Love my family; my friends.
Grateful.

Namaste.

Im Still Here

2010-11-28T01:57:00.000-08:00

Im Still Here
Slivers of bright light, finding its way to me
as I have fallen.
The breath I am ...
Divine master ...
I fear, that
You.
My back is breaking
Fill my lungs for
You.
Clinking plates and glasses.
Because I love
You.
And always will
And my breath grows shorter each day.
The freshness of air,
Swoon next to me,
Dear one.
I'm waiting to be healed.
Sound of the television in the distance.
Clinks of glass,
Conversation.
Laughing.
Lightly twist my arm,
and I fall delicately into
You.
Rays of light
Circle through ...
Countless ways to tell
You.
How much my heart aches
Except that its too late
As my chest finds its way back.
Ears POP.
The sound of ice chopped.
I love you.
The same way that
You love me.
Distant sound
Of the ocean
Waves crashing
And she stands smiling.
I roll over to you.
Only to find out
How lost Ive become.
No.
Don't leave me.
I will always love
You.
And make you crazy.
With delight.
As my legs tense.
With delight.
And chest beats
As I look to you.
Don't smile in delight.
I'm quite a fright.
Don't escape me.
My smile wants to vacate
You.
Oh, hollow one.
I feel vacant.
And so in tune
With the Winters Air.
In Los Angeles.
Hands are shaking violently.
My palms sweat into you.
And touch you.
And feels the tenderness of each embrace.
I escaped from but will go to
You.
Showers in the night.
Touch me.
Like you always wanted me.
There's no escaping.
What feels right.
No one can compare
Me to you.
Over this time.
I got lost
And wandered through and Back into you.
I can't breathe.
I cannot move.
Gasping, but free.
The sound of this air.
Silently.
Escaping.
Wanting to wash over
You.
I'm still here.
Yes, I'm still here.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

2010-11-20T07:55:00.000-08:00

International Transgender Day of Remembrance.

The day of remembrance began over 10 years ago to honor Rita Hester, whose brutal murder on November 28, 1998 in San Francisco.

I spearheaded the first Transgender Day of Remembrance at my work place last night. I supported two of my trans clients, along with two trans women from the community to organize the event. I work with male parolees in residential treatment. The ignorance, hatred, insecurities, fears and phobias are heightened to a pulse that is often intolerable to be around. Its a population that has been brutalized themselves, thus brutalize others. They have also lived with and used trans women throughout their drug use and while incarcerated. Most of my clients live in fear and ignorance. We persevered last night ... The seminar was amazing. The discussion part of seminar went well, not withstanding several inappropriate statements. It was a powerful evening ... that I'm grateful I had the passion and drive to organize; knowing that it was not going to be an easy night - but one that needed to happen. My two trans clients were empowered, and I know the residents heard and learned. And that we can only hope, as a result of this Event - that awareness was raised and that future abuse, intolerance, brutality against trans community will end. Trans women and men are not asking to be accepted; but to be respected. Just like you and me ...

Take a pause today and reflect on all are transgender brothers and sisters needlessly murdered this year, and previous years.

I continue to reflect on 17 year old Gwen Araujo who was viciously murdered in 2002 by four young men in Newark, California. I attended countless prayer vigils, rallies ... Her murder united the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans community in San Francisco (and else where). This was not just a "trans matter" -- Her murder affected all of the queer community, and we stood united. "Justice for Gwen" was heard everyday ... After TWO mistrials - in 2006 the four men were sentenced to prison. During that time Gwen's mother, Sylvia Guerrero, became one of my heroes (and Gwen's whole family).

On a positive note, during mid term elections ... Alameda County has become home to the first transgender trial judge in the country as Victoria Kolakowski won the race to fill an empty seat on the county’s Superior Court bench.

On a personal note, my dear friend Jeanna - has been my friend, role model and mentor for 10 years. And Jeanna happens to be a beautiful trans woman. Thank you Jeanna.

Find a local Trans Day of Remembrance Event or Vigil in your City (or you may have to travel hundreds of miles). I'm heading over to West Hollywood later today --

Namaste.

Topanga Canyon Hike with Jaimee

2010-11-11T22:04:00.000-08:00

What a glorious day!

Took care of some business this morning; went to noon meeting and then picked up Jaimee and headed to Topanga Canyon. An amazing four hour hike, deep into the canyon ... and eventually we were hiking as the sun began setting within the canyon ... the colors, or the colors were glorious! ... The last 45 minutes we walked mostly in the dark ... Finding our way with God guiding us, and eventually being guided by a flashlight. Considering that it was a Holiday, there was almost no one in the State Park. We hiked and talked, and talked and hiked. I'm exhausted, and going to finish up this Blog entry and go to sleep. We hiked and hiked. My body feels it now --

I could have taken some amazing pictures in the Canyon as the sun went down - but we were so in the moment of nature that the camera was an after thought. On the way out of the Canyon, and on the ridge - we saw the sunset. And just stood in silence and watched (and watched). Then I finally took a picture. And an older man, who was hiking by asked to take our picture (came out a bit fuzzy -- need to stay steady with the Droid!). Both pictures included in Blog entry.

Nature ... I've hiked two times this week. Maybe it has something to do with seeing the movie 127 Hours, or that my body is calling to be inside of nature ... breathing the air of trees, dirt, mountains, beautiful scenery, and sunsets. I'm feeling that hiking and camping needs to be more often ... especially hiking in the evening, under the moon & stars. For today, I say thank you ... thank you God. And thank you for my friendship with Jaimee.

Thank you God for your blessings of nature, and the gift of friendship.

Namaste.

Veterans Day

2010-11-11T21:43:00.000-08:00

My brother always thought his birthday was a national holiday .... He's now 34 yrs old today (but he had to work). And he is a beautiful man, with a beautiful family.

Veterans Day --

... I honor you. To all who have served or are serving our country in the armed forces, thank you for your honor, duty and sacrifice.

... I honor all my clients, male parolees, who willingly served our country -- only to return home & not receive psychiatric services needed. And shame on us who turn our heads and judge when we see homeless Vets on the street, or Vets who are incarcerated or on parole.

... I honor all the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender men & women who have & are serving our country. You have & will give your life for our freedom, regardless that the government, your neighbor, your family does not honor all of who you are ... We ALL need to fight to have "Dont Ask Dont Tell" be repealed.

I read pages and pages of news on Veterans Day today, as well as the urgency of repealing Dont Ask Dont Tell. The Senate is now back in session, we can't wait until the next Congress takes office. Take action --

Lets do our part ... Join Rep. Patrick Murphy in signing this petition to U.S. Senate leaders before time runs out

http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/DADTRepeal

and contact Senators, even those who support repeal of DADT. Get involved and just stay involved. This discriminatory policy must end. You have a voice ... use it.

namaste.

The King's Speech Movie Trailer

2010-11-09T19:40:00.000-08:00

Its with great anticipation, and months of waiting ... The Kings Speech is released this month. The movie premiered in Manhattan last night - where almost 100 people who stutter (friends of mine!) were on the red carpet. Only rave reviews. Some that brought me to tears.

"Why should I waste my time listening to you? ..... Because I have a voice!"

After decades of stuttering being portrayed negatively and characters humiliated in film ... I am anxiously waiting to see the movie of King George VI -- where it appears that Hollywood has gotten "stuttering right" !!! Look for more Blogging on The Kings Speech.

namaste.

127 HOURS - Full Length Official Trailer HD

2010-11-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

... Extraordinary movie, base on an extraordinary story - directed by the incredible Danny Boyle, starring James Franco.

Franco has had quite a year - cast as beat poet Allen Ginsberg in Howl (which was only briefly in LA theatres last month after Sundance premiere, and the opening Gala at Los Angeles' Outfest and other film festivals this year), then played Julia Robert's young re-bound lover in Eat, Pray, Love. And now 127 Hours, an outstanding emotional, physical & spiritual performance.

And no one can say enough about Danny Boyle. A movie so well done (and spun) around a hiker's right arm pinned by an 800-pound boulder. Boyle sure kept Utah's Canyonlands cramped space intriguing, captivating, mesmerizing for five days ... A powerful message (or messages) taken. I received it fully -- Thank you Aron Ralston.

namaste.

WILSON ON TONIGHT SHOW

2010-11-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

Brian Wilson ROCKS! Fear the Beard!

He made Leno look good. I bet that Wilson will be hosting Saturday Night Live next !!! Only in San Francisco. The Machine!

namaste

Giants Victory Parade, Elections & the Beach

2010-11-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

Oh, I wrote elections in the title of Blog. But, I'm still seeing RED - so I'll pause on reflection. Cant I just write about the Giants (above me - that is Wilson, Timmy and Cain - given the keys to The City today). ... Okay, midterm elections - Just grateful that Brown, Boxer and Newsom won. And that Meg and Carly can take their money and go home. We showed that MONEY cant buy shit in California's election ... $163 million of your own money? Meg, what were you thinking? Or smoking? So out of touch with reality. And Carly - you can't touch Boxer ... take your money, homes, boats, whatever else - and go home. Let real people represent and work for the State of California. And we're pulling for you Kamala Harris ... Once again, we are reminded that EVERY VOTE COUNTS. Kamala Harris is ahead by 0.2 percent, with 100% of precincts reported, but they are still counting provisional and absentee ballots. San Francisco represented the California election. And I'm grateful that I spent time campaigning again. But, Im still seeing RED across the Nation. Tragic day. More later --

This morning, as San Francisco exploded with Victory Parade for the San Francisco Giants, I took myself to the beach before work. It was 80 degrees by 10am, at Venice Beach. This picture is pure beauty - says it all. My walk from the strand to the ocean ... no one around, walking on the powdered sand. The walk that Ive been doing for four years. Incredible feeling. Ocean water embracing my legs. Healing sun. Crashing waves. The Sound of Sunshine .... I felt it, and embraced it all day.

The GIANTS! San Francisco celebrates the World Series Champion Giants with a parade down Market Street, ending in Civic Center Plaza (at City Hall). Our Giants traveled down Market Street on motorized cable cars; taking in the LOVE from the City during the baseball World Series parade. The pictures are great ... I loved hearing stories from friends and family of their experience at the Parade. HISTORY. Love it - ... What a team of characters ... Nothing surprising to San Francisco. Wilson's mohawk, with shoe polished black beard. Clean cut Posey. Timmy, well he's Timmy - cant touch him. Aubrey Huff dugged deep and pulled out his infamous red thong in front of City Hall, and waved it. The thong he wore for the month of October. The rally thong! Sexy Jonathan Sanchez, and maybe even sexier Andres Torres - wearing a tight white t-shirt, leather jacket and jeans. Yup, the Giants defeated the Texas Rangers in five games for their first championship since the team moved west from New York 52 years ago.

namaste.

WORLD SERIES CHAMPS

2010-11-01T23:50:00.000-07:00

THEN TONIGHT - World Series, Arlington, Texas.

Were we going to win it all, in Game Five? Or have to take it back to San Francisco (for a Game Six). The Giants are playing in Texas. The crowd is against them. Is it possible? To win TWO games in Texas? Well, yes it was ... It was toture ... No runs until the top of the 7th Inning. Torture again!

More than half a century after moving to San Francisco in 1957 (from New York), the San Francisco Giants win its first World Series title with a 3-1 victory. Beating on Texas, in Texas (Game 5). Edgar Renteria, the Series MVP, wins it with a three-run homer. Timmy "The Freak" Lincecum pitches the game of his life -- What a fun team ... And an awesome season. Tears were flowing when Renteria hit the homer in the top of the 7th. Such an emotional World Series, or month of October of baseball. I had just gotten off the phone with my mom, and we both agreed they just need to get a couple runs and its over. And there it was -- THREE RUNS. Timmy held them, and Wilson closed. So much feeling -- The World Series Champions. The San Francisco Giants. MY TEAM. The baseball team I grew up with ... I love this team. Lincecum, Posey, Wilson, Sanchez, Uribe, Ross, Renteria, Huff, Burrell, Cain, Bumgarner and all the rest. I love how sports bring people together ... UNITE. Love it -

Now VOTE tomorrow. It's your right. It's your responsibility. We cannot lose the House and/or the Senate. VOTE!

Namaste.

Living Life - GIANTS & HALLOWEEN

2010-11-01T23:15:00.000-07:00

Living Life!
A lot has happened in 24 hours. Id love to Blog about it all ... but wont - I have a TON of pictures that can tell the story ...

Had a GREAT Halloween.
We had a wild kids party during the day at my sisters home. Pumpkin Carving; Halloween Tricks, Costumes; Dancing and tons of food ..... Oh, it was just fun. FUN! I have a fun family. My aunt was rolling out her knowledge of the San Francisco Giants. She even knew that Wilson was "Fear the Beard," although she slipped when she said, "are they in the Super Bowl?"

The costumes were great. Audrey Rose was precious as Snow White (for a few minutes and then the costume gone). Lila Grace had some furry outfit on .... she's only 4 months! Precious! So much happening in her little life. The World Series. John costume was hilarious ... Mad Scientist, Dr. Bendover. Kaitlyn's vampire costume was off the chain. My mom kept her costume a top secret ... then she comes out in a witch costume. FUNNY! And I was a Good Witch Giants Fan ... Kevin had multiple costumes on throughout the day; similar to when he was a kid. Marion was a hippy. Paul was just sexy. Emma and Carlos came as themselves. My Dad ... what was he? Scott was a Giants Fan. Kim even showed up, but without a costume. Why did we let her in? As we danced to the Monster Mash? Patricia was Brian Wilson - Fear the Beard. Jake the Pirate. Oh, and Lauren - Dorothy (you know, Dorothy from Wizard of Oz).

The Giants WON last night - loving being at my sisters house; watching with my mom, dad and John. I missed Bush throwing the first pitch. That was the scary Halloween trick of the night. The rest was all GIANTS - a treat. My mom and John - both keeping score! While Marion was out with Jake trick or treating, and Scott handing out candy. We all ended up in front of the TV by the end of the game. CraZy, awesome game. 21 year old, Madison Bumgarner pitches a no run 8 inning game. Amazing. He's 21. 21 !!!! So calm, cool and relaxed on the mound. He just puts me at ease looking at him ... What a game, a shut out. Texas scored NO RUNS. Hear that ... ? Giants won ... and wondering were we gonna win the World Series in five games, in Texas or have to come back home to San Francisco ??? !!!

Namaste.

WORLD SERIES - Michael Franti & Spearhead - Say Hey (I Love You) - Giants Version

2010-11-01T22:16:00.000-07:00

Another Great Day - (but the Giants did lose)

2010-10-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

Its been a long and fun day. This Blog entry will be short.

I love staying at my sister's home, in the back in law house. I got a phone call this morning from Jacob saying that pancakes and eggs were waiting for me. I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast - cooked by my sister. And so the day began. Scott and the kids carved pumpkins. Then Kim came by and hung out for awhile. Then we took a ride up to The City, and the car headed along 280 to the end of the freeway ... headed to the SF Giants stadium. The City was alive - orange & black everywhere. World Series. We did this & that, and that & this. Had fun walking around the stadium. The Giants Merchandise Store was packed beyond comprehension! Fans having fun!

It rained, as we walked along the Embarcadero to the Ferry Building. The Bay Bridge was as stunning as always, in the rain and fog. The streets were alive, as only San Francisco can be ... I love the Ferry Building, and that part of town. Enjoyed mingling with the crowd ... checking out the shops, and the Farmers Market. Buying bread and cheese. We enjoyed the company of each other, as we always do .... We had fun. Good conversation that flow and flow, new adventures ... Living life!

Then we headed to Kevin's house to watch the game. Oh, the anticipation. Would we sweep? I'll keep it short - the Giants lost. We're 2-1 in the World Series ... and play Game Four tomorrow. It was fun hanging with my nieces and the rest of my family. My mom appeared at ease that the Giants would come back tomorrow with a WIN.

Tomorrow - Halloween ... Happy Halloween. Orange & Black all the way. All the way to Arlington, Texas. Morning breakfast with Paul, Claire, Audrey and Lila --- Then a family day of pumpkin carving, Halloween fun! Cant wait to see my Aunt, and Emma & Carlos.

Namaste.

Halloween with Jake and Much More

2010-10-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

Little kids putting on their Halloween costumes ... The day had finally arrived, and we know these kids have been thinking about their costume since last Halloween. I was at my nephews school with my sister helping prepare for his class Halloween Party. I mingled with the parents, and set up the room. And then helped the little girls put on their costumes. Jake kept his costume a secret from me until he walked into his classroom .... the cutest Pirate! The kids played games, and again - oh, how much fun it was interacting with the kids. Fun conversations. So precious. And then the infamous Halloween Parade. My parents had arrived and were waiting in the school yard, as all the kids marched down and then circled around the yard several times. Great costumes. Lots of fun.

The rest of the day ... wonderful late lunch and conversation with my mother at SereniTea House, and then headed to watch John and Jacob at Tae Kwon Do. They are Blue belts, and I had yet to see them in class. They are good, and very disciplined. I was impressed. Love those boys!

Then an evening with Larissa. Oh, how I love her - ... We haven't seen each other since August of last year (2009) but we talk, text, email all the time. We ended up at a coffee shop and talked for three hours. Ahhhh, the gift of friendship. Ours goes back to the early 90's.

I've been loving the rainy, cold weather. I'm also looking forward to sleeping in (a bit), hanging with the boys in the morning and then spending the day with Kim .... Then the World Series ... Giants vs Rangers at 4pm. I'll be headed to my older brothers home where the family will gather to watch Game Three. Black and Orange Attack - here we come! Sanchez ready to pitch.

namaste.

Pictures: Jake and his happy aunt.

John and Jake after Tae Kwon Do

John - good kick!

Jake - Discipline

World Series - Second Game

2010-10-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh - What a great night.

My dad picked me up at the San Francisco airport, and swooped me away to my parents home. Gave my dad a BIG hug and love. He was so happy to see me, and I was thrilled to be with him. The baseball game had just begun at 4pm. I was quickly sitting next to my mom, who was keeping score of the game. I love my mom. Gave her a BIG hug and kiss. And oh, how I loved watching Game Two of the World Series with her ... The Giants have not won a World Series since moving from New York to San Francisco in 1957 ( they won the World Series in 1954, with the great Willie Mays).

We are all excited for the Giants in the World Series, but my mom is very excited. She loves her Giants. Cain pitched an unbelievable game. And the Rangers fell a part, or never came to play the game of baseball. We had a nice two run lead, it was looking good and then the seventh inning came around and the Rangers played like a little league team. They WALKED two players homes, and after walks, hits, runs and terrible pitching the Giants scored seven runs in the inning. The Rangers never scored ...

Final Score: Giants 9. Rangers 0. The Giants are up two games as they head to Arlington, Texas. Where the Rangers have never played a World Series game in their Stadium. They have an awesome team, and although I want a sweep and have this over on Halloween, Sunday ... We will see ... ! Lewis will be pitching for the Rangers. He just closed out two games against the Yankees.
Its also the home of where George Bush owned about 10% of the team (and it's still a mystery how he came up with the money at that time to become part owner. And enough documentation that he played a key role in running the team into the ground, into bankruptcy - but you bet him and his wife will be all smiles at the game, and I'm sure he will be throwing out a first pitch). So, the Giants not only have it tough playing an excellent Ranger team (that fell a part in SF), but they will be playing in a State and Baseball Stadium tainted by Bush. The Giants will need to burn sage in the locker room (and all around the Stadium) to get rid of evil spirits. Wow, I guess I needed to get that out ... Bush has touched and damaged so many lives, and having him even associated with the Giants in the World Series makes my stomach rumble.

Back to my mom ... we had fun tonight. Watching the game together, talking baseball. Talking about life, and how happy she was that I was home for a few days. Looking forward to the rest of my visit. The Giants get a break tomorrow. I'm at my sisters home now, and cant wait to see my beautiful nephews in the morning. Spending the day with my sister, and Halloween Party and Parade with Jacob, then a night out on the town with Larissa.

Thank you God.
Living mindfully.
Namaste.

Picture: Cody Ross slides in to homeplate in the 7th Inning

Going Home!

2010-10-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

I cant wait to get home.
Leaving LA for a few days.

Being with my beautiful family, friends and back in The City. Rooting for my Giants; being in the midst of the vibrant energy of San Francisco. Spending time with Loran & Kim, Larissa and Jeanna. And Halloween - a favorite time for me. Cant wait to be by my mom's side watching the Giants take on the Rangers again tonight after the AWESOME win last night (11-7 win, what a way to begin the World Series).
Looking forward to being at my nephew's school Halloween Party and Parade with my sister. Being with John. Staying with my sister, in her warm, cozy home.
I cant wait to hold Lila Grace, four months old and hold fun conversations with Audrey Rose (3yrs old). And hanging with my brother Paul and his wife, Claire.

And I love Halloween!! Have I said that ... ? The Fall Season. The colors. The weather. Pumpkins. It'll be fun carving pumpkins with my nieces and nephews - and the rest of the family at our Halloween Party on Sunday. Then a night of trick or treating, while watching the Giants!

Oh, and back to my Los Angeles. ... I love being in my comfortable, cozy home, with all the warm, fun Halloween / Fall decorations. Walking into my home smelling the pumpkin spice candles and oil burning.
Picture: My favorite Halloween stuffed animals, hanging on my futon!

Okay, let me finish packing and be ready to be driven to LAX. Beautiful LA day ... It was 75 degrees at Hermosa Beach this morning, at 10am. The walk was beautiful, and it was 85 degrees when I got to my house. I love the warm weather - but I'm also looking forward to the cold and rain that will greet me in San Francisco.

GO GIANTS!
Namaste.

WORLD SERIES

2010-10-27T00:05:00.000-07:00

WORLD SERIES, October 27, 2010 at 4:57 (PST)
San Francisco Giants vs Texas Rangers
Timmy takes on Cliff Lee.

Oh, I'm living mindfully. Had the best day of taking a dozen clients on a Mindfulness Walk through, around and in MacArthur Park. The sun was shining. The water glistening. The fountain lifting the water high. Putting one foot in front of the other. Observing, describing, participating ... Walking in silence for 60 minutes.
Oh, and I cant wait to be home on Thursday --
My mom is so excited for the World Series. Everyone is ... ! Loving how sports brings people together.
Life is good. Loving Halloween. Loving baseball. Loving the excitement of the Election. Loving my friends. Had great dinner party tonight, with a Halloween twist. Good food; that I enjoyed preparing. Butternut Squash soup, salad, warm bread, pumpkin pie & tea.
My home smells delicious - pumpkin spice candles with fun Halloween / Fall decorations.
And kicked everyone out to watch The Good Wife.
Life is good. Breathing in, Breathing out.

Namaste.

Jerry Brown's New Amazing Ad: Meg Whitman and Arnold Schwarzenegger Comp...

2010-10-26T23:58:00.000-07:00

We have seven days til election day.

As you've seen, Obama (and Michelle) have been all over the country - supporting and endorsing Democrats. This Election is serious -- We cannot lose the House or the Senate. Phone bank, donate money to your Democratic canditate. Our future and futures to come depend upon it. WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE; not just to vote (that's a given right) - but to be involved in Campaigns. Seven days left. What are you doing?

Johanna Jean Douglas - your life

2010-10-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

JOHANNA JEAN DOUGLAS, November 23, 1950 - October 25, 2001.

This morning, as I walked from 2nd Street to Hermosa Beach Pier to Manhattan Pier on the strand, and then returned on the sand ... Johanna walked with me.

Johanna has walked with me since we met in January of 1992. She caught my eye with her shocking red hair, and spunky personality. Twenty years younger, I caught her attention with my shaved head and wild personality. And we walked together. For many years. Johanna believed in me, until I was able to believe in myself. I realized much later how much Johanna needed me too. Needed me to relive or to live the years that were an alcoholic blur to her. A native San Franciscan also ... we had much in common, and also so much not!

We had good times. Lots of long talks. Lots of LONG conversations. Our friendship was one long conversation. We both loved music, and went to many concerts together. How patient she was with my severe stutter. Coming up to Spokane for my SSMP graduation. How kind and gentle. Encouraging me through school. That first job interview ... I remember Johanna. I remember your words. I grew up, and you no longer played the role of "my keeper," but you always had an eye on me ... My family loved you Johanna, especially my mom. You were there when John was born, and loved him almost as much as me. And Im so grateful to have talked with my mother tonight about you Jo. She knows. She knows.

Remember the week long silent retreat you went on, with Thich Nhat Hahn in Santa Barbara? You introduced me to his teachings. Oh, and all the Father Tom retreats together in December, Los Gatos - Presentation Center. With Tammy? I could write forever. The memories are within. All the PRIDE parades and the Dyke Marches. How many times did we see Tracy Chapman, Natalie Merchant, Violent Femmes ... ??? Oh, remember Pele Juju? And Laura Love? And Sinead Lohen? Oh, we had so much fun. Celeste! All the episodes of Law & Order. Your arts & crafts projects. Oy! The fountains? Remember? I never got one. You were my best friend. My dear, dear friend. My best, best friend. Remember Marion's wedding. And all the Halloweens. You loved Halloween. We always dressed up, and rocked The Castro. You loved Fall ... your birthday is next month. The last two dates we had were seeing the Vagina Monologues with Eve Ensler and then Jim Carroll at the Great American Music Hall. Oh what a year that was ...

Johanna's body failed her, diabetes, hepatitis C. An infection near her heart, the size of what? I cant even remember .... there was some analogy, a peach or something crazy. She was not responding to the antibiotics. I was in Maui, on the phone telling her to get to the hospital ... September 2001. She wouldnt go. She eventually was admitted to Sequoia Hospital through the Emergency Room - holding my hand. I could feel she was dying. Oh those last days or weeks. I don't know ... It was a horror movie. My body is feeling it all right now. The talks with doctors. The visits. The ICU and then back upstairs and then ICU again. Her body couldn't handle the open heart surgery. Damn you. I sat by your side for days, reading to you. In a coma. Hooked up to all these machines keeping you alive. I knew you could hear me. I kept talking, caressing your hands with the good smelling lotion we loved, giving you gentle kisses ... I was in denial too. You weren't going to die. Your family was all out of town. The days went by .... I dont know how long I sat with you in the ICU.

That night - I took the bus from San Francisco ... I don't remember who picked me up at BART, it was probably my mom. Your sister called, and said that was it. That was it? You havent even been there, all these weeks and months. That's it? Oh, that night ... That night will always remain. I said goodbye, with my mom at my side. Held you. Said goodbye to my angel ...
You would have loved your memorial service. All the music you loved. And the eulogy I gave ...
We scattered your ashes past the Golden Gate Bridge, on your mom's boat.

Oh, how I loved you Johanna. I could feel what you'd tell me now, or what I'd tell you. I hear it ... I do. Thank you.
I've kept close to your mother. I know how much that means to you. Your dad and you are hanging out now. He loved you madly.

As I mindfully walked this morning, I felt you. And the words to our song rang through me ...

Oh, I want to thank you for so many gifts
you gave, with love and tenderness,
I wanna thank you
I want to thank you for your generosity
the love and the honesty that you gave me
I want to thank you, show my gratitude,
my love and my respect for you.
I wanna thank you.
- Natalie Merchant

Giants WIN National League Championship

2010-10-24T23:10:00.000-07:00

What a game it was last night!
Another 3 hour torture --
And it ended with a strike out, looking! The San Francisco Giants won 3-2, in Philadelphia. The Giants are the National League Champs, done in six games. The BOOs from the Philly crowd were so pathetic. As was the half page article in the Los Angeles Times today. This is the National League Championships, and now the World Series.

It's almost surreal. The Giants have such a mix matched team that was put together throughout the season. A lot of young guys. There's so much to write about this team. Madison Bumgarner, 21 year old pitcher (starter). Two innings of relief pitching. Uribe with home run, the go ahead run. Lincecum comes in as a relief pitcher in the 8th, and is pulled for Wilson. Wilson's shoe polished beard seems to be getting darker by the day. He closes the 8th and the 9th inning. Cody is MVP, rightly so --

I'm just HAPPPY! And was also happy to not have to watch another game tonight. And we're playing the Texas Rangers, another team of miracles and interesting stories. It's going to make for an awesome World Series. The World Series against the Rangers begins on Wednesday, with Lincecum pitching. It's going to make for an awesome World Series. I'll be home for the rest of the week then ... which is so sweet, to watch three games with my family, especially my mother! I cant get home quick enough -- San Francisco is pulsing !!!

GO GIANTS!

Living Mindfully -

We are ready TODAY -- GO GIANTS!

2010-10-23T12:42:00.001-07:00

I can say everything I know about baseball I have learned from my mom. She's been an avid baseball fan since childhood, growing up in Allentown, Pennsylvania. She would keep score of her father's Union baseball league. My uncle has great stories to tell of his sister in those days. She'd keep those men in line -- Her love for baseball continued when she moved out to Los Angeles just as the Dodgers moved from Brooklyn to LA, and then eventually (she met my dad) and her love for baseball continued in San Francisco. .... where the GIANTS are her team. She still keeps score at all the games, whether in the comfort of her home or at the ballpark (and if anyone is familiar with keeping score of baseball - you have to know what you are doing and paying attention at all time). Her love for baseball was passed down to her children and grandchildren. I love the game of baseball ... I love the game even more though because of how much mom loves it.

Pictures: My Mom and Dad before a World Series Game 2002 in San Francisco (Anaheim Angels won the World Series in seven games). It was such a fun season of baseball, and The City was alive! - I loved seeing my mom & dad enjoying that phenomenal year of baseball (with Barry Bonds) ... I had the pleasure for many years to walk down the street from my office to the ballpark (whether to attend a game or give my parents a hug before they went into the game - and taking pictures of them before a World Series Game!).

Little Giants

2010-10-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with Sanchez and the Giants on my mind. Texas Rangers won the East last night. Texas reaches its first American League Championship with a 6-1 victory over the defending champion New York Yankees in Game 6. And what a story about Josh Hamilton - but more on him later. Or go Google him ... His story needs to be told and heard and told again. Amazing person.

The San Francisco GIANTS play Game Six in Philadelphia today. We will win today. Im heading down to Hermosa Beach this afternoon to take in the Game ... Although heading to SF, to watch with my mom would be nice! She's ready to go -- ! Biggest Giants Fan I know .... Love her!

Ive been getting nostalgic these days. Remembering all the summers at Candlestick Park ... sitting in the bleachers, watching my San Francisco Giants. I was a BIG fan; still am - I loved my Giants. And working as a Recreation Leader in high school, taking younger kids to games all summer long.

Picture #1: Kevin and me with Mike Ivie on the field at Candlestick Park, 1979. I was five years old, a cute little dyke! We both were in the "Little Giant: fan club.

GO GIANTS!

President Obama: It Gets Better

2010-10-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

International Stuttering Awareness Day

2010-10-21T23:18:00.000-07:00

International Stuttering Awareness Day (ISAD) is on October 22nd. This years theme is: People Who Stutter, Inspire. Check out the International Stuttering Awareness Online Conference at http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad13/isadcon13.html
Lot of good articles and reflections. You can search for my Paper from years ago!

Stuttering - it's too late to Blog about. Other than, I have had the worst time managing my stutter these past couple months. Ya, its been a challenge to say the least. It's a disability I live with everyday. And I usually live with it fairly well. I also have many friends who stutter in my life and loved ones who understand being a stutterer and understand the challenges of a stutterer. I am never alone. I have worked hard so I can truly live out and be the theme of this years ISAD - People Who Stutter, Inspire.

namaste,
nora

Two Wins & a Loss and OBAMA

2010-10-21T23:07:00.000-07:00

The San Francisco Giants played two awesome games at home, Tuesday and Wednesday. Winning both, which put them in a position to win the National League Championship title tonight. However, as we know ... it wasnt going to be that easy (or sweet!). Giants played a good game, but Philadpehia had more runs at the end. It would have been nice to win it all at home, but life isnt always nice. Back to Philly on Saturday ... We will WIN! Yes, we will win!

And President Obama was in the Bay Area today (you think he made it to the game?). He'll be at the campus of USC tomorrow. Can't wait -- 12 more days til Election Day. A lot to be done to take back California (and keep the good thats already here) ... Brown, Boxer, Gavin, Kamala all need to win. And Obama supports them all! We must take California by storm on Election Day. They cannot win on their own. We need to pound the pavement; fill up the phone banks.

namaste,
nora

AIDS Walk and Giants lose

2010-10-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

TEAM Walden House had a great time at the Los Angeles AIDS Walk today. The Walk was a great success, with over 30,000 walkers. AIDS Project of Los Angeles (APLA) raised 2.8 million dollars to continue the much needed services they provide in Los Angeles County - improving the lives of people affected by HIV disease; prevention, education, advocating, and public policy. Walden House staff and alumni contributed $900 to APLA's largest fundraiser of the year, with $125 donated from male residents. As we give; we will receive a hundred times over -

The Walk was a lot of fun for an important cause (it also had a San Francisco feel with the gloomy weather with light rain :) !! And I had a blast walking with my clients, including a few who are living with HIV. It was an early morning and long day - but worth every moment.

Walden House clients were able to partake in an important Community Event. Clients from three residential facilities, outpatient and Alumni. I was so impressed by the Alumni, especially their home made sign stating "Walden House Alumni Supporting The Cause."

Team Walden House men, women and staff looked great uniformed in Walden House Los Angeles t-shirts, carrying our banner. A very enthusiastic, happy group of men and women choosing to participate in life, not just talking or dreaming about it -- Contributing to society; not taking from society ...

Picture: Cynthia King, Evan Armani and me (just a few staff to guided a large group through the 6.2 mile walk, with over 30,000 people. No small endeavor.

And the San Francisco Giants lost this evening. Its a tied series as we return back to San Francisco for Game 3. GO GIANTS!

One Love,

nora

How can you NOT love SF? AIDS Walk Update

2010-10-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

How can you NOT love San Francisco?
Giants win another on the edge of your seat game. Torture. Gotta love our boys though. They get it done. Cody Ross hit two home runs. Timmy (The Freak) gets the win (4-3) and Wilson the save. The San Francisco Giants are up one in a seven game series against Philadelphia Phillies for the National League Championship Series (and did it in Philadelphia). WOW! Had to catch my breath after Giants left the bases loaded in the top of ninth, and then Wilson (Fear the Beard) shut them down in the bottom of the 9th. We'll be back tomorrow at 5pm, Game Two. My mom and everyone in my family are estactic. And Jeff, and all my FB friends from SF.

TOMORROW: I will be leading TEAM Walden House for the Los Angeles AIDS Walk - the largest fundraiser of the year for APLA (AIDS Project of LA). I exceeded my fundraising goal. Thank you everyone for believing in me to want to sponsor and knowing the importance of financial support needed for those living with HIV and AIDS.

And Walden House clients raised $125. Hear that? Men who walk into our program in shackles, wearing paper jumpsuits without shoes from LA County Jail. Men who have served one year to 35 year prison terms. They are understanding why its important to become involved in matters outside of themselves. To give a dollar to an important cause and to Walk. To live life fully! We have been passing around a ceramic ball for a few weeks, and the guys have been filling it with change AND dollar bills AND five dollar bills. We made one last push at the Evening Meeting last night, as I gave my testimonial of why I choose to Walk each year, and about my dear friend Mike Z who died of AIDS in the 1990's. The guys were coming up one by one filling the ceramic ball with more change and bills. I had the honor of smashing it, and then counting the money with a few clients.
My parolees are productive members of society. They not only will Walk tomorrow to raise awareness for AIDS, for prevention, rid homophobia and racism .... but they are also contributing money to support services needed for people living with HIV and AIDS. ... Swallow that! Enough said! ... while too many people are stuck in their small worlds in Los Angeles County, living with their eyes wide shut - doing nothing to support those in need ... Or even aware that there is an AIDS Walk tomorrow and AIDS Walks all around the Country every year.

This is the 26th annual Los Angeles AIDS Walk ... I have walked the past four years. In 2006, I walked in Riverside's AIDS Walk ... And all the years before that in San Francisco.

We are responsible. Showing up for life. Living life. Not just talking about it --
namaste,
nora

AIDS Project Los Angeles is dedicated to: improving the lives of people affected by HIV disease; reducing the incidence of HIV infection; and advocating for fair and effective HIV-related public policy.

WE WON TONIGHT! We are headed to the National League Championship. DON'T STOP BELIEVING - GIANTS 2010 ANTHEM (OFFICIAL VIDEO)

2010-10-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

GIANTS!

2010-10-10T17:24:00.000-07:00

What a game! GIANTS rock! Big WIN today!

Friday nights game was a nail biter (going into extra innings after it seeming like a win earlier on in the game) and then they LOST. Today's game was also smooth sailing til the 8th and then a nail biter, but they WON.

On Friday, as I watched the game go into the 11th inning with George, Stephanie on their big screen TV. Eating Chinese Food, having fun. Didn't leave til 11pm. .... with my mom on the phone while she's at my brother's house watching game (with my dad and Paul's family). Loran & Kim are at the ballpark. Kevin and his whole family are at the game. My sister textn me, with my nephews at their home. Phone blowin up from New York also, Jeff textn too. And then the big loss. Needless to say - we all were anxious about todays playoff game.

Today - 3rd game of play off series, in Atlanta. WOW! What a game. I love sports, and how it brings family & friends & strangers together! Rooting for our team! Sanchez pitches a sweet game, no runs. Reliever comes in and boom! Two run homer by Hinske off Sergio Romo, in the bottom of the 8th. Giants down, 2-1. Top of the 9th ... This is it! Sitting on edge of couch. Yelling (or rooting) at the television. Giants come battling back. They bring in two runs, 3-2. Nail biter. Now its back to Atlanta, bottom of 9th. Giants bring in FEAR THE BEARD, Wilson is pitching! Phone is blowing up. Breathe in / Breathe Out. Wilson does it, and Atlanta goes down. Giants lead series, 2-1. George is now a Giants fan! Ha!

I think I'm going home sick tomorrow night from work, game at 4:30pm. And its National Coming Out Day. I should just take the whole day off.

For now, Im going for a walk to meet a friend for dinner and then to a meeting. Beautiful LA evening. 75 degrees.

Picture taken by Loran on Friday Night (Kim at AT&T Park).

The House of God

2010-10-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

10/10/10

I go to nature

to be soothed and healed,

and to have my senses put in order.

- John Burroughs

I fell asleep with the plan of waking early - journal and meditate, and then a walk before church. I woke before 7am, and my room was warm. The sun was coming through the shades, and I could hear a little voice saying .... Go to the beach! I had a glass of carrot juice, threw on my green linen shorts and a white tank top. Grabbed my Virgin Islands baseball cap, my Tevas and through my journal, book and a couple water bottles into a bag. And headed to the beach ... down Washington Blvd., listening to John Lennon (who would have been 70 yesterday). Not too many cars on the road, made a right on Pacific and quickly found a parking spot. Walked across Pacific to the beach. I walked a few yards on the strand, before my feet moved towards the ocean. My being wanted nothing to do with cement ... It was sand and ocean all morning.

Oh - what a morning! When I arrived at 8am, there were few people at the beach (when I left at noon, the beach was getting packed). I walked on the sand, allowing the water to wrap around my legs. The beauty filled every corner of my being. And ya, I felt her. Felt her deeply. I long to be walking hand in hand with another. I dropped to my knees. The sand welcomed my body. God gently said, "Come walk with me." I resisted, and wondered why, again. Why? And God said - okay, I'll give you that one, but now you need to keep walking. I got you. Be not afraid. Keep moving. Keep walking. Mindful. Become one with the sky, ocean, sun and sand. Breathe. Flush your mind and breathe. Breathe.

I headed down to Santa Monica Pier and ended at Will Rogers State Beach, and then walked back. I allowed the ocean to take all my questions and uncertainty. As I took each step, my spirit settled. Understanding entered. Peace entered. I was in the House of God. Midway back, I sat down and allowed the energy of the sun to fill me as I looked out on the ocean. Took off my white tank top, and the sun settled into my orange polka dot bra. I journaled, and even read for a good while. It had been since the 4th of July that I allowed myself to spread out on the Southern California sand. My skin soaked in the sun, feeling the golden brown. I was in the House of God, and I prayed. Prayed. And I stayed too. I choose not to run. I will be present, show up for life and accountable. Even when the emotions are strangling me and uncertainty is bubbling over. I will not run. I stay. And will continue to stay -

I live in the House of God, this morning at the beach; and always.

Now, Voyager,

Sail Thou Forth

to Seek

and Find.

- Walt Whitman

Los Angeles AIDS Walk - TEAM Walden House

2010-10-05T23:10:00.000-07:00

Consider sponsoring me for the 26th Annual AIDS Walk on Sunday, October 17th. I am the Team Leader for Walden House for the fourth year. You can also join us, and Walk!

Click on link to sponsor me. I have a modest fundraising goal of $300.
https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=427581&supId=188450919

Why do I Walk? I have walked for the past 15 years because its the right thing to do --

I walk for all those who have died from AIDS or AIDS related illnesses and their families. I walk for those living with HIV/AIDS. I walk for those living with the disease that are NOT able to Walk, and need to SEE 50,000 people walking so they know people care and have not forgotten them. I walk for all those who I used to deliver meals to, that were home bound, in the 1990s, and most likely are not living today. I walk for awareness and prevention. I walk to fund raise for AIDS Project of Los Angeles. I want to do as much as I can to make a difference in the lives of men, women, and children affected by HIV and AIDS. Even though there has been a lot of publicity about drug treatments which are prolonging some people's lives, they don't work for everyone and there is still no cure in sight. Moreover, young people are still getting infected at alarmingly high rates.

I walk for Mike Z who died in 1996, and all friends of mine who died from AIDS in the 90s - I met Mike at a 12 Step Meeting when I was 20 yrs old. He was one (of many) who took me under their wing ... He encouraged me to talk at meetings when it used to take me minutes (!!!!) to get my name out. At the end of his life, I would ride my bicycle a few times a week to the hospice. I sat by his bed side, talked with him, and rubbed lotion on his hands and arms .... Mike was a heroin addict from New York; who had been in recovery for several years. He was good looking, charming and full of life. I watched Mike's body and his mind betray him. He wore a diaper and could barely speak the last months. Ya, I walk for you Mike.

And I walk for all my dear friends in Los Angeles and San Francisco living with HIV or AIDS. I walk for my clients who are living with HIV or AIDS. I walk to ensure all my Walden Hoiuse clients (and staff) have a chance to WALK, and get educated about HIV prevention and erase the fear, stigma, racism and homophobia.

I walk --

What do you do?

Namaste,

nora

AIDS Walk pictures posted from 2009, Staff with Walden House Banner and Claudine & Nora

I`ll always love my mama ...

2010-10-04T23:11:00.000-07:00

No Feeling is Final.
I teach it well to my clients. And have been practicing it today. It was a rainy LA day -- I wanted to stay in bed; hide under the covers; not interact with the world. But, NOT living is not an option. I choose LIFE everyday. Choose being responsible. Choose being selfless. So, I got myself out of bed ... journaled, meditated. Crawled back in bed, and then remembered. Got outside; walked around the block in the rain. Then headed to work, bundled up in warm comfy clothes ... on the way treated myself to a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Tonight - my Dual Diagnosis (mental health) groups are the most challenging. Last Wednesday, I ran out of work at 9pm needing to be held and loved (after the DD group). I have every diagnosis - personality disorders, anxiety and mood disorders, psychotic disorders ... some of them just coming off a drug run, and are just getting back on psychotropic medications. Others have been in prison most of their lives, and have no life skills (along with mental illness). As I usually do before every group, I close my office door and prayer out loud - which grounds myself, so I can be present for my clients.

I had the BEST group tonight. The best ...

And one topic that was processed repeatedly was "mothers." Now you got to realize that my guys mothers are their everything. Tattooed on their body (name and actual drawing of their mother). Their mothers have (mostly) stood by them as they are in and out of prison; running and living in the streets; gang banging; and not knowing if their dead or alive. They have so much love for their mothers. Endless letters sent to their moms in prison. And reunification every time they are released (even if for a day, before they are back in the streets). So, one client was talking about his new relationship with his mother. Being available for her. Another talked about his mother dying during his last prison terms (which happens all too often). Conversation was flowing. And then, one client who doesnt say too much in group spoke loud and clear - "If you have your mother in your life, you better be calling her every morning." The room stood still with his statement, and the song I`ll Always Love My Mama (The Intruders) started playing in my head.

I`ll always love my mama
She`s my favorite girl
You only get one, you only get one, yeah
I`ll always love my mama
She brought me in this world
Mmm, a mother`s love is so special
It`s something that you can`t describe
It`s the kind of love that stays with you
Until the day you die
She taught me little things
Like saying `Hello` and `Thank you, please`
While scrubbing those floors on her bended knees .
...... I`ll always love my mama
Talking about mama
I`ll always love my mama
I said, I love you mama
I`ll always love my mama
..... (you sing the rest! ).

After group, I went back to my office ... completed group notes, tied up loose ends, replied to a dozen or more emails that arrived within the 90 minutes I was in group, and then headed out (which takes 20 minutes from my office, through the facility and to my car ... with the clients all wanting to say goodnight and get one more smile from me).

I got in my car, drove down Alvarado Street and called my Mama.
And told her I'll always love you. You're my favorite girl.
I shared with her what transpired in group, and how much I did love her ...
Yes, I love my mother ... And she is the only one. I send her cards and flowers. I call her frequently. My friends all know my mother. I visit home as often as I can ... We talk and talk.

My mother is cherished and I will never have regrets of what I wish I could have done or should have or that I wasn't there ... I show my love through actions and words.
I love the Holiday season ... I'll be home shortly to spend a few days around Halloween. I'll be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I love and cherish my mother, and everyone in my family.

Mmm, a mother`s love is so special
It`s something that you can`t describe
It`s the kind of love that stays with you
Until the day you die.

I chose to not live in self pity this morning, pulled myself together and I received so much today. Thank you God.
Namaste,
nora

Good Orderly Direction and the SF Giants

2010-10-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

Good Orderly Direction.

I learned many acronyms for God in my 20s when I was surrounded by people establishing a relationship with a higher power. The one that has remained with me all these years is "Good Orderly Direction." It worked for me back then, and it still does today. When I don't know what to do, or doubled over in aching emotional pain ... I need Good Orderly Direction; which can mean getting a quick connection to God and listen to what my God wants me to do. It can mean God speaking through others and I need to take direction (and get the heck out of the way).

I often talk with my mom about finding a religious home in Los Angeles. I attended Metropolitan Community Church - San Francisco for 8 years, and then Unity Fellowship Church in Riverside for a year. And I've always stayed connected to a Buddhist Center for meditation. I was actively involved with both congregations; on advisory boards, organizing activities, assisting with workshops and retreats. I was in regular communication with religious leaders (and still am, just different - ). I had a religious community in church and a spiritual community in 12 Step Fellowship. GOD surrounded me through others in my every step.

As I have wrote about often, it has been a challenge finding a religious home in Los Angeles ... It's been a void in my life, and has kept me off balanced in many ways the past four years. That's not what I'm going to write about tonight. I'm not going to write about growing up Catholic and being bathed in love by my Aunt who is a nun (Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet) and all her nun friends. Also, the nuns at the church my family attended and at my high school ... all played instrumental roles in my development. Jesuit priests were also a part of my life, mostly through my Aunt.

I know I have a place in the Roman Catholic Church. God has told me so ... My aunt has told me so, and my parents. I don't always feel I have a place - but that's when I have to get out of the way and take Good Orderly Direction ... knowing that God knows much more than I do --

My mother gave me Good Orderly Direction yesterday and suggested that I check out St. Augustine Church; which is located in Culver City (a 10 minute walk from my home). I have walked by the Gothic structured church often over the past four years. I chose to take direction from my mother, without question, because I twisted up in emotional pain and needed to listen to God speaking through others. And follow Good Orderly Direction this morning -

I cannot deny the messages that I receive, nor question the messenger. When I do, Im running on self will. I'm no longer in harmony with my loving God. I'm living in selfish desire. I'm running on my ideas, my emotions and my demands. Because I am a spiritual being having a human experience - I can fall short and deny messages, deny God. I'm able to recognize fairly quickly when I move into self will, and move back into harmony with my loving God.

I took Good Orderly Direction today and sat in the glorious sanctuary of St. Augustine. The mindful walk to the church and the mass was exactly what I needed this morning. If I had denied the message; I would have denied my God and been living in self will. I needed to be in a sanctuary; where the moment I sat in the pew the tears started and did not stop falling for an hour and a half. God was holding me. The sanctuary was holding me. I allowed the Catholic Church to hold me.

I lit four candles and prayed ... one for my mom & dad, one for Belinda, one for myself and one for the San Francisco Giants.

Thank you God. I will continue to take Good Orderly Direction ...

Namaste,

nora

On a side note: The San Francisco Giants beat the San Diego Padres today (the last game of the season) to clinch the 2010 National League Western Champs (the first time since the 2003 season)! And my mom was at the game - in all her glory with my dad and brother). I can't help but believe my candle and prayer helped our Giants after two losses in a row.

Travel Log - Emails sent to Mom from St. Croix

2010-10-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

A vacation in Paradise (blog entry is a follow up to previous one posted).

My travel journal were emails sent to my mother. I didnt plan on emailing her each day (and attaching a picture to each travel log), but with recently receiving the Droid Incredible a couple weeks before the vacation - It was both fun taking pictures on the phone and emailing my mom each day. My mom (and dad) loved receiving the emails, looked forward to reading them every morning and it was a wonderful way for me to keep a travel log. My mom also replied each day, so as you read through the entries - Im also responding to what she wrote in her email replies. Enjoy!
Date: August 6th

Subject: St. Croix Travel Info
Mom, We arrived safely and quickly in Atlanta on Delta. Belinda's friend drove us to LAX, and we were on our way ... On the heels of a wonderful trip home, how grateful I am not to be heading to the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Here's travel info:
Chenay Bay Beach Resort
Christiansted, Virgin Islands
340-773-2918
(Room is under Belinda Duke)
Return on 8/13. Arrive back at LAX at 10pm. Delta Flt 4362 and 2355.
I wont be using my cell due to increased charges per minute, but you can email me. And of course, in an emergency - do call!

I'm going to roam the ATL airport, and buy a newspaper. The last time I was in Atlanta was 1998 for NSA convention. ... It looks like Belinda is asleep, stretched out of the airport seats. I slept for a bit on the plane, not much. I’m excited (and anxious) to get to our destination. And very grateful for this opportunity to vacation with Belinda. It will be a special time for us, and looking forward to sharing the experience with you.
I love you.

Date: August 7th

Subject: Chenay Bay
Having a relaxing day, as we settle into life on the Island. We arrived safely yesterday, and found our way to Chenay Bay Beach Resort. I had the bright idea of using the GPS on the Island, however streets and addresses aren't an essential part of the island. Landmarks and sense of direction is how we'll get around. The Resort is located on the East End of the Island. We have a sweet bungalow, a "garden view cottage." (and had a great sleep last night after dinner at the Resorts restaurant). The resort has a private beach, Chenay Bay which drops into the Caribbean Sea. Getting a feel for the island ... who lives here, the locals, tourists, economy, etc. It'll be a fun week. Bob Marley is playing everywhere. There's a big summer party happening at the beach. Enjoy picture! As you can see - I am relaxing at the beach. Oh, and the water feels so good.

Date: August 8th
Subject: Nora and Belinda in Frederiksted

Mom and Dad,
We drove across the island today (didn't take very long). We ended up in Frederiksted. This picture is taking on the Pier where the cruise ships dock. It was also taken right before the rain started. Lots of local kids on the Pier, jumping off into the water. We ate at a fun restaurant, owned by two gay guys. Almost everything was closed today, Sunday. Truly a day of Sabbath. The towns were empty. We noticed that a KMart was open, with a lot of cars in the parking lot. Not many chain stores here though.
The University of Virgin Islands is on St Croix. We drove by it today.
We got back to resort around 5pm and stayed at the beach for a few hours. No house keeping on Sundays! We have a kitchenette, and Belinda made pasta tonight. The food is about 30% more expensive than at home. We did grocery shopping yesterday .... much better than eating out everyday.
We are taking a charter boat tomorrow to Buck Island Reef National Monument. Very well known to avid scuba divers. We will snorkel and the island is said to have the best beaches. I'll get an underwater camera like we had for our family vacation to Maui, and remember to take pictures of the fish and not just myself and Belinda underwater. !!
I'm off to sleep.
I love you (a lot).

xoxo

Subject: Paradise

Date: August 9th
Mom and Dad,
Thanks for both of your email replies. Glad you saw Lila Rose with Aunt Noreen. Attached is picture of me in lounge chair that's placed in the swimming pool water, which looks out to Caribbean Sea. Belinda and I are having fun taking pictures. You will have a lot to look at when I get home --
The day started off with heavy rain, lightening and thunder. The all day boat trip to Buck Island was cancelled. We will try again tomorrow. We walked around downtown Christeniansted as the rain lightened up. The area was active today after yesterdays day of rest for the town. Little shops lined the one way streets. And we bought matching bracelets that are unique to the island. The locals are very friendly. An eclectic group of locals. We still aren't sure of the language. It's some mix of English with other funny sounding words. By the way .... you drive on the opposite side of street. I'm getting used to it! Belinda is a great co-pilot, as I drive. We found the local, independent bookstore – but it was closed. We will try again!
Not many tourist here, its the off season.

By the late afternoon the rain stopped. The ocean water was so calm amd clear. Not one wave. We lounged at pool, relaxed, talked and read. So beautiful.
Tonight we played Scrabble. The one you bought me mom. Fun playing. Belinda won. You know how much I love to play --
Let's root for a Sparks win on Tuesday night. Lisa Leslie retires her number! Benita will be at the game. Oh, in the local St Croix newspaper there was a long article on WNBA game, New York and Washington. More coverage than any newspaper I've read. I also saw that the Giants lost to Atlanta (full page article).
I'm off to sleep.
Let's hope for a clear day so we can snorkel and enjoy more of the Virgin Islands. On Wednesday, we are scheduled to have a guided hike through the rain forest. This is Paradise.
I love you.

Date: August 10th
Subject: FINDING NEMO
We had a great day. Super. We took a boat out to Buck Island. The snorkeling was amazing. The coral reef and tropical fish were amazing. The last time I snorkeled was with you all in Maui in 2001, on our family vacation. It's amazing here though. Buck Island is the only under water National Park. And I could have stayed under water all day - another world. I felt like I was in the movie Finding Nemo (which I want to rent that film with Belinda when we get back home). The beach sand was sooooooo white. We could have stayed for hours - the powder soft sand. Clear, warm water. We just floated in the water ... felt so free!

And then we both had BIG ice cream cones in town after our day trip. We did find the independent bookstore (Undercover Books). I bought a book by a local author (short stories).

We are going to sleep early. I'm tired! Tomorrow is the rain forest hike.
I love you. Thanks for your email reply. Hope you had a good lunch with Irene.
xoxoxoxo

Date: August 11th
Subject: Rumble in the Jungle
Mom and Dad,
Glad you spent time with Audrey and Lila today. Fun! And yes, how cool that the St. Croix postcard arrived so quickly with a regular postcard stamp.
Belinda and I had a GREAT day today. A guided hike in the rain forest. You can see picture with me and our fun guide. Ras was quite the guide with lots of stories and a deep love for nature and our environment. What an amazing part of the world. It rained early with rolling thunder but cleared by the time for hike.
We then drove back to resort along north coast. Ate lunch at Carambala Beach Resort looking out on the beautiful ocean. We were exhausted though, and drove back to hotel ... relaxed and then tonight we saw the sunset in Frederiksted. The ocean goes on forever and ever. Then back to our side of the island, Christeniansted for dinner.
Tomorrow we Kayak in the morning. I've never kayaked before. Belinda has done so often and used to own a boat with kayaks. She's looking forward to it ... Then relax and get ready to come back to "the states" on Friday.
I didn't get newspaper today but will tomorrow. I like reading the local paper.
Enjoy your Book Club mom. (I have been enjoying time to read.).
I love you.
Xoxoxoxo

Subject: Kayak Day
August 12, 2010
Mom and Dad,
I trust you made it to Napa safely. Drink lots of water.
We finished our week on Cane Bay with kayaks. See the great picture! We had a very knowledgeable guide who talked about the history of island, and current government status. He grew up in the north east side of Pennsylvania. And moved to St Croix in his 20s.
The ocean water is amazingly clear and calm. I've never seen the water so beautiful. It will be hard to leave. I was looking at social service job ads!
We fly out at 230pm. .... to Atlanta and have a layover. That will probably be 3pm PTS. I'll call you. We get into LAX at 10pm. On Delta. Or I will talk with you on Saturday. I'm glad we stayed in touch this week. You were the only one who I sent emails to with a fun picture each day. ;)
I'm very grateful for this time away with Belinda. And to be fortunate enough afford a vacation in St Croix. This has been a special time. I've really enjoyed time with Belinda, and look forward to continuing the Caribbean life with her when we return to Los Angeles.
I love you (a lot).
xoxoxoxo

Subject: Last Day in Paradise

Date: August 14th
Mom and Dad,
Back home! We've talked already, but I'll give you a run down of our last day.

The last day in St Croix. This picture is on the porch of the bungalow. My suitcase was packed and we were just about to leave Chenay Bay Resort. I woke early and strolled down to beach at 645am, and journaled for a long time. It was already getting warm by 730pm and the bugs were out, which I left out of in other emails. The mosquitoes loved me and Belinda, even with big spray. I have enough bites, that will take time to heal.
I drove the blue jeep rental car for the last time, on the left side of rode. Drove through Christeniansted to the airport. Driving across the island is about a 30 minute drive. And St Croix is the largest of the three U.S. Virgin Islands.
My luggage was 48lbs. Just under the required 50lbs. Delta charges $90 if luggage is over 50lbs! .... I have a good suitcase but its too big (or heavy) and probably adds 5 or 10lbs. We went through customs but did not need a passport. The flight home was smooth. Just an hour delay in Atlanta for the layover. I read most of the way. I'm not a big sleeper on planes.
Great vacation. We are going to see Eat, Pray, Love tonight. I called Jose today to let him know I made it back. He sounded happy to hear from me, and I'll be back to work on Monday. Belinda is taking some time away to Phoenix.
Enjoy your time in Napa. I'm glad everyone will be up to visit and spend time all together. The kids will love the pool. If I had another week off I would hang out with you in Napa!
I love you Mom. I want to vacation with you next. You had mentioned Chicago - lets do it.

One Love.

Vacation in St. Croix ~ Belinda & Nora

2010-10-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

This entry has been a long time coming (and a few others).

Summer Vacation for two ... This wasn't just any summer vacation, it was going to be a lovers island vacation. A much needed time away together, just the two of us, away from work, away from life distractions, away from the States, and friends & family. A time for us ...

We talked about Mexico ... Cancun, Mazatlan, Acapulco. I've been to Puerta Vallarta (and will go back again). She had not been to Mexico. We talked real briefly about Hawaii , but we both had been often. We wanted a new experience to call our own. We quickly moved to the Virgin Islands. We wanted an island vacation. The beach, sun, warm weather, water, the ocean, relaxing, some hiking, relaxing, kayak, reading, snorkeling, relaxing. I did a quick search on Expedia, while she was in the kitchen. I'd holler out from the bedroom what I found and she'd give a response. Usually, "sure that sounds great." I was amazed at the great vacation packages, and St. Croix kept popping up. I did comparison with Travelocity and Expedia, and also with different islands (St. John and St. Thomas). And St. Croix kept popping up. Honestly, I did not know much about the Virgin Islands -- other than hearing dozens of people say how beautiful their Caribbean vacation had been (mostly cruises). The U.S. Virgin Islands had always been an exotic, mystery to me. With just a little more research from the U.S. Virgin Islands homepage for information about the Island, and checking out the resort website - it was a done deal. We agreed on 7 days and 8 nights in St. Croix in August. We were going to the Caribbean, and oh - how I needed a vacation. We needed a vacation; away from work, away from everyday life ... just being alone together; enjoying each other and the island. The excitement began to build for our first vacation together as a couple. Everything felt right ...

I journaled while on the trip. Mostly reflections on life (good writing too). Travel journal or blogging happened when sending daily emails to my mom (with a picture a day) from my new Droid. My mom (and dad) loved receiving the emails, looked forward to reading them every morning and it was a wonderful way for me to keep a travel log. I will compile my email writings to my mom and post, and also upload some fun Caribbean pictures in the next few days.

Enjoy the video (UPDATE - Ok, so after leaving the computer on over night for the video to upload - its not happening. When I get a moment I'll do further research on how of if I can). Much love went into putting it together. There were sooooooooooo many wonderful pictures to choose from, and needed to carefully choose the ones that would make us both smile with fond memories as we watched it years from now. I have watched it frequently, and it makes me feel like I'm right back on the Island listening to Bob Marley, getting tan at the beach, drinking a virgin Pina Coloda.

One Love,

nora

Lila Grace - precious gift

2010-09-29T22:45:00.000-07:00

My niece, my brother's daughter, my sister in laws daughter, my niece's sister. Paul, Claire and Audrey Rose O'Connor ... A FAMILY that makes you smile, and Lila Grace is bringing more joy to my brother and his family, and the rest of our family. Lila Grace: Born on July 19, 2010.

Picture: Lila Grace is two months old! And Audrey Rose with her sister!

Just Breathe - the universe is speaking

2010-09-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

.... the heat continued today. From the weekend reaching high 90s, to 113 on Monday and the high 90s yesterday and 90s today. The direction was clear this morning - get to the beach before work. I moved in God's land this morning at Venice Beach. The ocean knows ... The sun is aware ... The sky can hold it all ... And I breathed in and out. The power of following my breath as I walked. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (and then rain, thunder, lightening and rainbows this evening -- ). The universe is talking to us.

namaste,

nora

All around good day.

2010-09-28T23:47:00.000-07:00

All around good day.

Jerry puts Meg in her place.

President Obama rallies tens of thousands at University of Wisconsin, as elections are a month away.

U.S. District Judge Fogel blocks execution in California.

Giants win. Padres lose.

Beautiful LA weather. Loved the beach tonight.

The Good Wife Season Two premiered -

I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face.

namaste,

nora

The Sound of Sunshine

2010-09-27T12:23:00.000-07:00

Woke this morning at 7am.

Ate some breakfast, while reading LA Weekly.

I could feel the warm air -

Journaled for a bit.

Sat and meditated. Ram Dass is my man these days.

The ocean was calling my name.

God was whispering to me, and then it became louder.

Listen, listen, listen.

The Sound of Sunshine.

Headed to Marina del Rey.

I walked with God to Santa Monica Pier and back.

And a lot happened in between --

Had some questions -

Tell me why --

I remember, and then I forget.

I wrap my arms around you, and the ocean water cleansed my mind, body and spirit.

Not gonna let this moment slip away.

I need to live for the one I love, and that is God.

Not gonna let it slip away.

Beauty. Beauty. Beauty.

Love. Love. Love.

I am whole.

I am enough.

Allowed each moment to happen,

and the questions were swept away into the ocean.

That's when I started to dance, and yes -

Shake it! Shake it! Shake it!
The water danced around my legs ...

The smile on my face deepened.

I greeted people with energy from the Sun.

The cautious, loving mothers smiled with joy as they watched

their children play in the water.

And the water danced.

And I danced.

No questions.

No answers.

The sun smiled.

And I walked.

Walked with God.

And I got higher and higher.

I have love for you,

and love for me.

Namaste,

nora

Still Here!

2010-09-26T18:43:00.000-07:00

Its been over five months since my last Blog entry.

I'm still here.

Became quite sidetracked these past months.

And not writing.

But, Im' still here.

I allowed myself to get taken away -

I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul,

and its easy to become blind, and travel far from your truth.

Or to see possibility when there is none.

... because I do believe.

and have faith.

I trust also.

And open my heart wide.

I'm a gifted healer,

which people can be drawn to -

I'm still here though.

And have a lot to write about --

A lot of good.

Pictures to post.

Moments to share.

Moving forward, not backwards.

I'm still here.

Namaste,

nora

LA Sparks Opener, Studying, Movies, Books, etc.

2010-05-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

Apologies to myself for not much Blog writing lately.

Los Angeles Sparks take on defending champions Phoenix Mercury this morning. Candace Parker taking over as the teams leader. New coach, new team, new season! Opening home game on May 28th.
I'm studying for Social Work Clinical Vignette Exam. Test Date: 5/25 at 3:30pm in Carson, Ca.
Been reading some good books lately - loved Anne Lamott's new book, Imperfect Birds. Im reading Fr. Gregory Boyle's Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion.

And seeing some good movies ... The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, City Island, Letters to Juliet ... and even caught a play at the local Kirk Douglas Theatre and a Dodger Game (where the Giants beat 'em!).

And of course, beach walks!

Another beautiful LA day -
Namaste,
nora

Stanford falls to UConn in Final

2010-04-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

What a fantastic season of college ball. It was within Stanford's reach to be NCAA Champions (53-47). They had UConn ... They did! ... I missed most of first half due to being at work, and the game wasn't the same without Belinda, or texting Kim ... Or just the whole rushing home for a Championship Game sucked. Stanford women played hard. They held UConn to 12 points in the first half. We needed to capitalize more on our lead in the first half though. Maya Moore came out to play in the second half, and turned the fire up for UConn. Jayne messed up her ankle even more. Didnt even score a point! Oy! Maya Moore is smooth, and was fun to watch in second half. Jayne and Ros graduate - but the rest of the team will be back (along with Chiney ... Neka's younger sister coming to Stanford).

Someone has to win.

And someone has to lose.

Thanks Stanford Women. You rock. Women student athletes rock!

namaste,

nora

Resurrection of Jesus & Stanford Wins

2010-04-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

A Hundred Blessings.

I woke early this morning .... drove to the beach. Took a walk, and talk with God.

Belinda and I drove to Unity Fellowship Church in Riverside for Easter service. It was wonderful seeing Rev. Elder Benita Ramsey and my Unity family. It was a beautiful day. Where you stand determines what you see. .... I am standing in a place where I can SEE resurrection. The promise of a new life. I am putting my body in a place to experience resurrection - not just today, but everyday. I will allow God to move my boulders. I surrender again! God wants me to turn it all over ... Does not want me move boulders and climb to great heights to become out of breath & unsettled. .... Happy Easter.

And then to the second part of the day .... Belinda and I headed back to Los Angeles to watch Final Four: Stanford vs Oklahoma (and UConn vs. Baylor). We shopped for our Easter dinner - ham, veggies, mac & cheese, and dessert. Got home. Put the game on. Cooked our meal .... And Stanford worked their magic, and won 73-66. But in the second half we watched an 18-point lead get slashed to three in the final seven minutes. It was not fun being on the edge of the couch again. Nneka Ogwumike scored the Cardinal's final seven points and finished with a career-high 38 and and 16 rebounds. She is an amazing athlete. I was talking with my mom, texting Kim and grabbing onto Belinda. Stanford won! .... It's been quite a community journey to the Championship Game ... Stanford will be playing for the NCAA Championships on Tuesday - vs UConn. Baylor put up a good fight with UConn (70-50). UConn can be beat on Tuesday - even with their super star team and 77 straight wins. Stanford will prevail ...

namaste,

nora

Stanford in Sacramento

2010-03-29T22:43:00.000-07:00

I headed to LAX on Saturday at 8am knowing that Baylor was playing Tennessee at 9am. I was on my way North, meeting Loran & Kim, to see Stanford vs. Georgia at Sacramento's Arco Arena. I get to LAX, and shortly roam into a bar that has the Baylor game! My plane was delayed a bit, and I was able to see Baylor upset Tennessee. Sweet! Got on plane (I didnt miss flight due to being in bar !!! ) ... Loran & Kim picked me up at Oakland Airport and we headed to Berkeley for lunch and then to Sacramento. Sweet 16! Its been a fun season of basketball with Stanford, and sharing the game watching with dear friends and family. We watched our Stanford Girlz beat Georgia (73-36) and stayed for second game (Xavier beat Gonzaga, 74-56). Stanford would be playing Xavier on Monday night. We would have loved to have stayed in Sacramento for the next game ... but work & responsibility calls!

Stanford would go on to beat Xavier (55-53) in a tough game on Monday night. Pohlen wins game on a lay up with with three-tenths of a second left. Belinda and I were on the edge off the couch the whole game. Stanford wins the Regional Championships ... heading to the Final Four in San Antonio to play Oklahoma on Easter Sunday. And I can't wait. I love my Stanford girlz. I love women student college athletes. They rock!

Namaste.

nora

Stanford beats up on Iowa. Sweet 16 here we come -

2010-03-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

.... An amazing game of women's basketball last night. Iowa went down 96-67. Back to their Iowa dirt, as the women of Stanford are in the Sweet 16, and on their way to the Final Four. It was a great way to end my birthday weekend, after returning from two days in Carpinteria with Belinda on the heels of a Hollywood night with Barry Yeoman.

Rosalyn Gold-Onwude scored a career high of 26, as she played her last game at Maples Pavilion. Nnemkadi Ogwumike added 23 points, nine rebounds and seven assists. Nneka (just a Sophmore) is an explosive wonder to watch ... A skilled gymnast, handling the basketball court with athletic force. .... It's March Madness. And it's on ... ! Stanford Women are a TEAM ... every sense of the word. A fun, loving, educated, talented basketball team. Living & loving life - and I get to witness.

Namaste,

nora

24th Annual Genesis Awards with Barry Yeoman

2010-03-21T01:57:00.000-07:00

I had the most amazing night with Barry Yeoman ... at the the 24th Annual Genesis Awards presented by the Humane Society of the United States held at Beverly Hills Hilton. Barry received Genesis Award for Outstanding Written Word - article in "O" Magazine (Operation Rescue). After a beautiful day of walking and talking in Santa Monica with Barry ... the weather was perfect.

It was an honor being Barry's date ... It was definitely an "Oscar Night" feeling. Everyone was dressed to impress. Sexy! ... And at the same time - I was so taken and moved by conversations held with people working for Humane Society and other animal organizations, and listening to the Genesis award recipients. (And the "Hollywood" after party at hotel ... !)

I held a conversation with a high powered woman who felt the idea of parolees working at animal shelters was something she'd like me to write up a proposal - similar to programs in prison (across the nation) where inmates are given animals to take care for or train. As far as I know, there are no such programs for Parolees. More to follow on that idea .. (one of the million social justice ideas in my head that will come to fruition - now or when I get my Mindfulness Institutes for Parolees & Loved Ones off the ground).

I am off to sleep. Looking forward to two days in Carpinteria with Belinda ... Enjoying my 38th birthday in a little beach town near Santa Barbara. Its been a great birthday weekend (or month).

namaste,

nora

A Hundred Blessings - Rumi and Mirabai

2010-03-15T23:19:00.000-07:00

God - I hear you.

The signs you have been sending are strong and undeniable. They are breathing life soul force through my being. Mirabai Ceiba's new CD, and song "A Hundred Blessings" hit me like a ton of gentle bricks a few weeks ago, and has me swirling in a state of love and bliss. I couldn't stop listening. I couldn't stop watching video. It was a feeling. A feeling of knowing ... A feeling that brought me to my knees -- crying joyfully & painfully. I have surrendered to love {again ... And it's so welcomed. Thank you God -- ).

I finally found the words (of the song) of Rumi, the Sufi poet, who was introduced to me by my dear Johanna a few years before she died in 2001. Mirabai has created a CD of music that includes the prayers and mantras of Guru Nanak and Yogi Bhajan blended with the poetry of Rumi, Thich Nhat Hanh and his own gentle poems.

As I said, I could not find Rumi's poem (A Hundred Blessings). I finally emailed Mirabai last night, as my spirit was pushed to another level at 1am ... And he replied today with the Rumi's poem A Hundred Blessings. I read the email (and poem) when I had just arrived at work, and had to close my office door. The tears were flowing again - as I read the poem {again and again}. And realized IT was all there ... Everything that God has been leading me to ... Everything that I was feeling in the music (and words I was catching) that took me to a spiritual depth. I hear you God. I hear you. I do not deny you ... I will not deny you. I walk with you. The signs have been clear and consistent since December's awakening. I can no longer think. Allow love to lead -

A Hundred Blessings - Rumi
When Love comes suddenly and taps
on your window, run and let it in,
but first shut the door of your reason,
even the smallest hint chases love away,
like smoke that drowns the freshness
of the morning breeze.
To reason, Love can only say
the way is barred, you can't pass through,
but to the lover it offers a hundred blessings.
Before the mind decides to take a step,
Love has reached the seventh heaven.
Love has climbed the Holy Mountain.
I must stop this talk now and let
Love speak from its nest of silence.

Pac 10 Tourney in LA - STANFORD WOMEN

2010-03-15T00:19:00.000-07:00

STANFORD!

What a fun past four days as I allowed myself to be washed away by women's basketball. Fun. Ya, lots of fun. Stanford won the Pac 10 Tourney (beat UCLA this afternoon) at the beautiful USC's Galen Center. I love those Stanford girls. Such deep respect for women student athletes. So proud of them. They made my heart sing these past days. Young women going after their dreams .... playing ball, obtaining an exceptional education, living life and having fun. Discipline. Passion. Talent. .... I love it. Thank you. Jayne, Neka, Roz, Pederson, Pohlen, JJ, Melanie, Josyln and the rest!

And thank you Kim & Loran who drove from Redwood City to Los Angeles early Friday morning for the Pac 10 Tourney. But we know its goes deeper too. The power of sports that brings community together. We had fun. We have had fun for many, many years. And will continue. (let love speak through actions). Travelling mercies to my friends who are almost back home now.

Thank you Belinda - who feels the soul power of basketball. Fun, ya? I love how much you love it ... Oh, how I enjoyed the JOY you were experiencing. Seeing and feeling your joy. That's all I need ... to be with people who are able to touch joy; feel it; taste it; and live it. My joy and your joy all swirling together. That's the essence of living. The shared experience. Words don't have to be exchanged. That's all. Nothing more or less.

March Madness.

Peace, Love & Basketball!

Namaste,

nora

Tinariwen to Coreopsis

2010-02-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

An amazing night of music at UCLA's Royce Hall. The music of Tinariwen is truly an irresistible musical force. You can feel their lives deep from the Southern Sahara desert. The lyrics in its native Tamashek, cut through and move into your soul. Rumbles! Makes you shout with a orgasmic love for life. Spiritually transformed. Completely irresistible. I was introduced to Tinariwen with their break through album of “Aman Iman: Water Is Life." At times, the CD didnt leave my car for months. And its been back these past weeks. Along with a newer one.

The opening band hailed from Mongolia. The vocal rumble of one of the musicians was incredible ... If not there in person, you would have mistaken his voice for a musical instrument (which was his voice)! Music unites, which was evident on Saturday night. It crosses cultures >> lands >> time >> space >> generations >> And joins us together.

Danielle and I had a wonderful time of dinner & conversation and a night of music! The spirit of music that unites us. Our nighttime embrace was longer & more intimate as the music of the spirit flowed through our bodies.

Woke early today, after a restful sleep. Headed to Point Dume in Malibu with Belinda. The forecast said rain, but there was no rain in sight. Dark clouds were in view as we drove 20 miles North on Pacific Coast Highway, that eventually blew away. A beautiful day for a hike near and at the ocean. We parked at Westward beach, walked up the trail and were greeted by thousands of vibrant yellow blooms of giant coreopsis. Wow! What an amazing site! Then stood and watched rock climbers traversing the volcanic outcroppings. The trail leads you to a view of channel islands - where you can sight whales (but we did not - ... another day!). Then we hiked down to Dume Cove, and walked along the ocean for a couple miles. Walking quietly. Allowing the ocean to do most of the talking.

Words sometimes do nothing to the feelings that embrace me at the beach. Just a beautiful, spiritual day. The Church of Nature ... the spirit I choose to live in.

namaste,

nora

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T17:50:00.000-08:00

Beautiful Los Angeles day. I had the best bike ride from my home, down to the beach and along the board walk. The new Venice Beach Skate Board Park is very {very} cool. Love hanging out watching the kids do their thing. Everyone was out too. Nothing better than zooming past cars on Venice Blvd on my bicycle - looking at frustrated and annoyed faces in their cars (and all the unnecessary driving/parking arguments and the "Im sorry's" that occur - when all people wanted to do was have a good day. That can really, really suck. I know!).

The freedom of a bicycle at the beach. I love it! Happy, happy people after they are at the beach! Happy place. Lots of entertainment in Venice. Tons of people. Living life. Laughing, happy people. How I love looking into the eyes of another, making that moment connection and smiling. It happened two dozen (or more) times today. Its priceless. It felt so divine to connect deeply with the universe on Valentine's Day ....

I kept riding north and the people began to fade after the Santa Monica Pier. The sky was so blue, the ocean a deeper blue. I got to Will Rogers State Beach; locked my bike up and headed to the sand. I waded in the water. Allowing the ocean to cleanse my body. Closed my eyes, and was lifted to another time & space. Was in the moment, or some type of moment - the sun carried me away {and the moment lasted & lasted}. Sat at the beach for a long time - breathing in & breathing out. Watching the kids play. The joy! ... Feeling the warm sand beneath me. And eventually rode back home .... My entire body felt so alive on the bicycle, as oppose to driving in a car.

Heading cross town now ... Gonna have my spirit filled more.

I would have love to have gone to have shared a meal & conversation, seen the movie Valentine's Day, popcorn & drink, held hands, felt intimacy with someone who I truly want to be with ... ... Look deep into her eyes, and smile even deeper. ... Come home, take a long bath together, lavender oils ... walk into a rose petaled room, with candles lit, and Madeleine Peyroux's voice filling the night (and the rest left to my imagination). .... But, you know what? - It's really okay. I am okay. I think I fell in love with myself all over again today {which has me smiling as I type}. I'm in my soulful power. I am never alone. I am the one. The Divine walks with me. And God knows when she's suppose to arrive. I don't have to (and will not) force anything ... All I need to do is BE and LIVE and LOVE. Walking in the light - ... Staying in the moment. Breathing in, and breathing out.

I'm going to watch my favorite date / romantic movie tonight - Say Anything. Pop some popcorn, light a few candles after taking a long bath, get in my PJs, enjoy my comfy couch and cozy home. (and maybe Markus and Joseph will join me, or not). And if I'm still awake, I'll watch my other favorite romantic movie, Pretty in Pink. Then fall asleep listening to OM of the Goddess. Mystical blend of females voices, in ceremonial chant - pure as mountain air, powerful as fire, flowing as water and loving as the Earth beneath our feet.

Happy Valentine's Day -

The Goddess Spirit within me recognizes and honors the Goddess Spirit within you.

Namaste,

nora

... bringing the spirit back in spiritual

2010-02-14T01:21:00.000-08:00

.... bringing the spirit back in spiritual. Um, or enjoying time with friends. Markus Thorndike and Joseph Martin are staying at my home for the week. Both have an exhibit booth at The Conscious Life Expo in Los Angeles. After a long day (for them) we found a hidden treasure of a Thai Restaurant in Marina del Rey, Siamese Garden. Delicious food, delicious friends and delicious conversation. I was so grateful to visit with Larry also. We attended a week long retreat on the magical island of Moloka'i a few years ago with Christian de la Huerta and Markus. And share a special bond from that profound experience.

Beautiful day of basketball, friendship & conversastion, relaxing, and more friendship & conversation.

namaste,

nora

Tinariwen at Royce Hall

2010-02-12T08:23:00.000-08:00

I was introduced to the music of Tinariwen about four years ago. From the first sound I heard - I was transported to a spiritual trance ... To the depths of the Sahara Desert. Not understanding a word that was being spoken; but at the same time understanding it all ... Later I would sit down and read their lyrics (translated from Tamashek to English). The passion, the pain, the "knowing" was all all in the poetry ... I felt it all though without even having read the lyrics, and rarely since refer back to the English translation. Some words had no English translation; which is more understandable than trying to translate something that can only truly be felt.

I've been to MANY concerts over the past 25 years. I have never bought tickets 5 months in advance though. When I heard that Tinariwen was to be playing in the United States at UCLA Royce Hall, I was counting down the days 'til ticket sales. In two weeks; I'll be sitting with Danielle taking in live music of Tinariwen ...

Here's verbage taken from UCLA webiste and link to Tinawarin's website.

Tinariwen Sat, Feb 20 at 8PM UCLA Royce Hall
Tinariwen emerged from the Sahara to transfix global audiences. Formed in the crucible of the long freedom fight of the nomadic Touareg people, Tinariwen wields a sound as ancient as their way of life, and as modern as pulsating grooves on an electric guitar. The music has brought the Touareg fight for autonomy to global attention. But the band is also leading a revolution in world music. England’s Q magazine wrote that their 2007 album “Aman Iman” sounded “thrillingly unlike anything else on the planet.” The 2004 album “Amassakoul” had the UK’s Observer Music Monthly wondering if Tinariwen could be called “the best rock band in the world.”

Namaste,
nora

Visit with Mom -- Grateful

2010-02-09T00:27:00.000-08:00

Grateful. It's a feeling.

I spent the morning with my mother .... cooked her breakfast; talked (and talked) and then we went to Venice Beach. Walked around. Enjoyed the beautiful day ... sun was radiating, ocean was so blue. Sky was blue (too).

Grateful though. After I dropped my mother off at LAX, my mind was dancing with thoughts of how grateful I am that my mother not only has the ability get on a airplane and come visit me - but that she wants to ... (As my friend Ricky would say "Now that's deep Nora ... "). We had a beautiful four day visit.

Ricky was finally discharged from the hospital, but this is where the journey really begins. How to pace himself as he recovers from pneumonia. Listening to God's will. Not his own. Listening to his doctor's instructions. Not what he thinks his employer wants him to do. ...

I spent the rest of the day with Tim ... went back to Enterprise Sales Dealership, and the rest of the evening on the Internet looking at cars. !!! He's going to check out a Honda Accord for me tomorrow at Long Beach Honda Dealership. .... Patience !!! Then worked on Charts tonight. Back to work tomorrrow.

My mom's plane was delayed - but she sounded happy being able to sit at airport reading her book as I talked with her (like mother, like daughter). Later she called me from the Elephant Bar where she was sharing a a meal with my Dad. ... Letting me know she arrived safely home. Again - I am grateful ... so grateful.

namaste,

nora

USC vs Stanford (that's the men - ) & family

2010-02-06T23:17:00.001-08:00

Living Mindfully {my journey}.

Thoughts swirling through my mind and spirit .... I've experienced interesting realizations of the healing power of sports today. These thoughts are not new ... however, I felt and saw it differently today. And I have never put these thoughts down on paper.

My mom, George, Stephanie and myself enjoyed USC hosting Stanford this afternoon. My first {live} men's game of the season. The Galen Center was packed (despite that the Pac 10 - Men is very weak this season, compared to Pac 10 Women ... but the men get the turnout). USC won, 54-49. Good ball game. We sat in the 200 section ... which was a different view of the court (and arena). There is not a bad seat in the beautiful Galen Center. It was a lot of fun watching Landry Fields of Stanford play ball. He is sweet !! Scored 27 points (with a double/double). He played the whole 40 minutes. Stamina! Stanford should have won this one --

On to the Super Bowl tomorrow. SUPER BOWL XLIV >>>> New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts. (Go Colts!) Looking forward to Super Bowl party with family & friends (while I find a TV to watch Stanford women take on USC in Palo Alto at 1pm). Now this is for the FUN of it ... A day with family & friends. ... I've watched minimal football this season. It's not my sport - but it's a great sport.

Sports have the power to unite; the power to inspire; the power to heal; the power to build community ... More reflection on my Sports thoughts soon ... so hang tight. I need to write more, but I'm going to listen to the need to read and sleep. Rise early for morning beach walk.

Prayers for my friend Ricky who's been in the hospital for a week with pneumonia. Early morning visit again to the hospital tomorrow. To sit and be together.

I'm going to finish reading The Blind Side before I fall off to sleep. I'm reading three books right now, but there's a strong pull to get back and finish The Blind Side. Then back to Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage (E. Gilbert) and That Bird Has Wings (J. Masters). When those are done, Playing with the Enemy (J. Carlin)!

Namaste,

nora

My mom is in town ...

2010-02-05T23:44:00.000-08:00

My mom's in town.
Hanging with my mom, George (my uncle, her brother) and Stephanie (my aunt) tonight. We had a fun night of conversation, movie going, dessert & tea (and more conversation).
My mom rocks .... I love watching her talk with her brother (my uncle). Then hanging out with my pregnant cousin, Travis and little Colton Cash. Nothing more important than family love and spending TIME with each other ...

Dealing with more car dealerships today. At least the settlement money arrived. Moving forward ... Will have a car soon. Patience! No need to rush into this investment!

namaste,
nora

Anderszewski Plays Beethoven

2010-01-29T23:07:00.000-08:00

I have lived in Los Angeles for three years, and my "To Do List' listed the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Why it's taking me this long? I don't have that answer. However, today was the day. And it was a magical experience. I love classical music. Yes, I love classical music. I love LIVE classical music even more. From what I have read (and heard from others) the Walt Disney Concert Hall "is designed to be one of the most acoustically sophisticated concert halls in the world, providing both visual and aural intimacy for an unparalleled musical experience." Yes, I can agree. I am still experiencing the day ... It is swirling all within me.

We had first row Orchestra View "bench seats" behind the orchestra for this mornings performance - which was a unique seating position. I was in direct alignment with the charismatic, beautiful, young conductor (Vasily Petrenko). At times it felt as if we were even connecting with each other. He had a great sense of humor too (as he smiled and did hand gestures as he waited for guests to be seated). And we were so close to all the members of the LA Philharmonic. Piotr Anderszewski performed Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 1 in C major, Op. 15. What a beautiful angel Piotr is ... rich with talent and love for the piano and the music. The second half Vasily magnificently conducted Tchaikovsky (Manfred Symphony, Op 58). A 55 minute piece that left me breathless many times during the hour. And in awe of Vasily's stamina to conduct for an hour (after the 35 minute Beethoven). Its simply not comprehendable the talent, ability, the gift! .... What an honor to experience "it."

It's been quite a week after my car accident last Saturday night, which left the car totaled. Minimal injuries, Cat Scan = normal, definitely traumatic. Very, very grateful for my new friends in LA who supported me all week. And of course my friends in SF and New York (and my family). Then a full work week, with an audit today by our funders. My mental health charts are in full compliance after 10-12 hour days - back to back to back (not 12 hours of charting ... no, doing my regular job of therapist, individual sessions, psych evals, groups, crisis intervention ... and then getting all charts in compliance). And I managed to attend three 12 Step Meetings this work week. Need to keep balance - Gotta do me, or I'm no good to anyone else.

Thank you for music.

Thank you for classical music.

Thank you Los Angeles Philharmonic. I am researching a way that I will be able to attend concerts more often. I will make that happen this year -

Now on to basketball tomorrow! ! .... USC plays Oregon at The Galen Center. The Pac 10 is more exciting than it's ever been. Looking forward to a good afternoon of basketball. And then my beautiful mother visits on Friday for a few days! And in between all that - I will be looking for a car to buy! ... Life is good! I am so blessed. I will fall asleep tonight holding my LA Phil experience ... seeing the beautiful face of 34 year old Vasily conducting ...

Living Mindfully {My Journey}

Namaste,

nora

Obama ... State of the Union Address, 1/27/10

2010-01-28T00:49:00.000-08:00

Here is the full Obama State of the Union transcript text from Jan. 27, 2010, as released by the White House, and video link

'I never suggested change would be easy'

President Barack Obama called for an end to partisan politics while pitching his plans for health care, the economy and the environment in his first State of the Union address.

Crazy Heart = Oscar Worthy!

2010-01-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

The Harder The Life, The Sweeter The Song. I had planned to see Crazy Heart on New Year's Eve with Andrea, but the show was sold out (and we saw NINE - which was actually more fittin' for New Years Eve). I watched (or was taken by) Crazy Heart tonight. I joined my uncle & aunt for dinner, and the movie. Crazy Heart = Scuffed boot, scuffed heart masterpiece of a movie. Jeff Bridges deserved his Golden Globe. Maggie Gyllenhaal gave an outstanding performance too (and she is so gorgeous). Along with Robert Duvall and Colin Farrell. First-time director Scott Cooper does an incredible job ... ! A must see before the Oscars (March 7th) ... !

"Pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try." (The Weary Kind) ... Ryan Bingham's voice is swirling all within me, and I imagine will do so for awhile. I welcome the tender, reflective emotions in ...

Relaxing, peaceful Friday. Loving evening with George & Steph. Moving into an even more relaxing, mellow weekend. Thank God for my understanding of balance.

Namaste,

nora

"The time is always right to do right."

2010-01-18T23:04:00.000-08:00

Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929 - 1968). Great morning at the Kingdom Day Parade in Los Angeles. Dr. King would not have let rain stop him from relentlessly fighting for civil rights, nor would even thought of taking a day of rest. "The time is always right to do right."

My usual tradition of listening to MLKs speeches lasted all week (and may continue to this week). His voice and spirit live in my home and car. My other tradition is reading out loud from one of my MLK books. This year I read all week from "I Have a Dream: Writings & Speeches That Changed the World" edited by James M. Washington (with a wonderful foreword by Coretta Scott King).

"I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." - excerpt from I Had a Dream speech.

A Tale of Two Hikers

2010-01-16T23:04:00.000-08:00

A Tale of Two Hikers in Rustic Canyon. We tried our best to follow the trail, but ended up deep in Rustic Canyon ... We started off crisscrossing Rustic Creek upstream through a forest of sycamore, cottonwood, and a narrow canyon (that widened from time to time). In a matter of minutes we were removed from the streets of Los Angeles, and placed into a lush, green paradise of wilderness. We came across quite a few hikers during the Rustic Creek miles of the hike (or walk), as we dodged pockets of poison oak; determining how to climb from one rock to the next, or grabbing onto tree limbs to reach the next flat land. While the water flowed by ... so clear. Life filled our lungs. Filled our soul.

We sat at the dam for awhile, as I urged my hiking partner to not eat the berries. Moving out of the creek, climbing up and down steep slopes which reached down to the canyon floor. Once again, I found that God was guiding us. I've been in this position several times as a hiker ... realizing that the path may not be the path but it had to be the path because it was the one we were on ... Acceptance of where we were at took hold, and we hiked and hiked in Rustic Canyon. Sometime later we realized we were not going to get to the other side of the mountain and double back to Will Rogers State Park entry. We were on the path though ...

We kept hiking and talking. Eventually running into a rustic, graffiti filled structure that appeared out of place in nature. Near this structure were cement stairs that led us up (and up and up). We then climbed over a crumbling brick wall to a paved fire road where we met "walkers" wearing the latest athletic gear. We received directions back to Sunset Blvd. We followed Sullivan Fire Road for many miles, pass Josepho Way ... taking time to appreciate the ocean view ... until it connected with Capri Drive. We walked down Capri Drive towards Sunset Blvd.

We had travelled from the rough terrain of the wilderness to a fire road to the clean streets and beautiful homes of Pacific Palisades. Four hours later we reached Sunset Blvd. We walked west on the streets with our Camel Packs, as cars were speeding the winding road of Sunset Blvd, towards Will Rogers State Park Road and eventually to the parking lot. We did it! A Tale of Two Hikers!

Until the next hike!

Namaste,
nora

NOTE: I am a California State Park Member, since 2000. My membership affords me free admission to most State Parks. I encourage you to become a State Park Member. Support the Parks (State and National)- before they are closed, gone or privatized. Arnold would have loved to have shut down California State Parks during his term. Instead he was able to raise admission fee to make it almost impossible for ordinary families to enjoy the Parks. (Will Rogers State Park charges a $12 entry fee.) Do what you can ... First, visit one of over 200 California State Parks. Enjoy the Parks. Become a Park Volunteeer. Read about the rich history of State and National Parks in California and across the Nation. We live in beautiful lands. Get out there and enjoy nature today.

Prayers & more prayers are with the people of Haiti

2010-01-16T22:33:00.000-08:00

Prayers for Elder Rev. Benita's family - whose brother and his wife arrived safely in the US today from Haiti after days of not knowing of their status.

... oh, I spent just long enough viewing picture after picture of suffering, desperation, confusion, pain ... My prayers are with the people of Haiti, and all those responding to the crisis - after Tuesday's 7.0 earthquake.

Thank you President Obama for extending temporary protected status to Haitians living in the U.S. This designation allows relatives living here to financially contribute to their loved ones back in Haiti.

This one picture makes me smile though ... I see & feel hope. Through the rubble, the dead, the dying, the looters, and the chaos - let there be hope & light.

Namaste,

nora

(picture from LA Times: CANDLELIGHT: Thousands of people in Port-au-Prince are still too afraid to sleep in their homes. A family gathers around a candle waiting for the sun to rise on the third night after the quake. They were singing hymns throughout the night. (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)

The Ultimate Happiness Prescription

2010-01-16T09:55:00.000-08:00

"If you observe your breath without manipulating it, it will start to slow down. The breath leads the body. It is the thoughtless, physical response mirroring the movement of consciousness. You cannot hide your true feelings and reactions from your breathing. As you continue to observe your breath, you will feel calm and centered. Your thoughts will settle down and the external stress will not seem so threatening. You are actually changing your vibration at the level of being."

Deepak Chopra

The Ultimate Happiness Prescription

Book Club Update - more than just reading!

2010-01-15T23:11:00.000-08:00

The Book Club for Parolees participants watched the movie Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson this past Wednesday night. We read Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom) for the month of December. The movie stayed true to the book. The participants held a powerful dialogue after watching the movie. As we watched the film, I looked around the room and many guys had tears streaming down their face. Beautiful!! Men choosing to feel, and talking about it with each other.

Last week - 18 men received January's book The Blind Side (Michael Lewis). I'm reading the book as well for the first time (along with my mother). And actually I'm going to hurry up bloggin, so I can go read. The book has pulled me in, and I'm well half way through it. I'm looking forward to rain next week; to cuddle up with warm blankets and read, drinking tea.

You know the Book Club has grown in so many directions. This an idea I had ... of providing an opportunity for men to read a book of their choosing, and discuss it weekly with their peers. It's grown into so much more ...

Some of my favorite Book Club participants are those who have difficulty reading or are challenged with concentration and sitting still (for a variety of reasons). These participants entered the Club as the months went by ... As they heard me say often, "this group is about having fun ... not to stress you out, or feel shame that you can't keep up with other readers." There's not a High, Medium and Low Book Club levels ... There is one unified Book Club, who read & support each other. I have emphasized that the Club is open to everyone. And with that, I have had the fortunate opportunity of helping people with reading.

I have a few participants who felt they lacked the concentration needed to be "a reader." I have used Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques to help readers recognize that their thoughts were often the cause for "failure" with reading. CBT has helped my readers uncover and alter distortions of thought or perceptions which may be causing or prolonging psychological distress. My guys have recognized that their thoughts cause feelings and behaviors. And if they are telling themselves they cannot read; then the feelings of shame & inadequacy follow. Those feelings are followed by behaviors such as not trying or resistance or laziness. We have discussed how their distorted perceptions of what they can or cannot do has been the cause of emotional distress and has held them hostage from living.

Without getting long winded .... many of these guys have chosen to see how they play an active role in holding themselves down, separating themselves from others and expecting failure. These same guys are reading now (and having fun).

What has helped? .... Some techniques I have taught is reading for five minutes a day (setting a timer), and then writing a paragraph on what they remember reading. They read five minutes a day for a week, and then move to 10 minutes. Always followed by writing a paragraph about what they read. Or they read pgs 5 - 10, and have three questions to answer. The next day they read pgs 10 - 20 and answer three more questions. They are both reading and comprehending. Many of my guys who have more difficulty with reading are now reading up to 30 minutes at one sitting (... and fully participating in book club discussions). Some of the guys come up to my office, sit on my couch and read while I work on Charts. When the 5 or 10 minutes reading timer goes off, they then tell me verbally what they just read. Then they read for 10 more minutes. (and I get a few more Chart Notes done!!!). Others benefit from reading outloud for 5 minutes. We have read out loud during group from time to time, and some of the guys are able to find a quiet to do this on their own (which isn't the easiest to do). Other guys started reading the daily newspaper to practice their reading in other areas.

The guys have also shared with each other "how" they read. These discussions are as rich as the Book Discussions. The guys who are highly literate and able to read with ease are helping out the guys who have more difficulty. What has been seen is that everyone is learning the importance of reading slower, and not reading for the sake of reading. Reading to reflect (not just to get to the next book or "speed reading," which they learned in prison to pass the time).

It's been quite a rewarding experience. I have used similar techniques in other areas of my work in social services, but never with a group of readers. One participant may have read 200 pgs in one week, and another guy will have read 70 pgs. It's about READING ... not how fast you read. We are having fun reading (and building self esteem & confidence).

The guys are choosing to challenge themselves instead of choosing to live the way they always have lived. Choosing to be uncomfortable, in order to be comfortable. They are choosing to have goals, willing to accept instruction and have discipline. They are willing to be frustrated when they can't concentrate at times, willing to talk about the frustration and continue moving forward. They are facing their fears. Fighting the lies they were told, or the lies they told themselves. They are talking about the shame of dropping out school, not having a formal education, not ever experiencing a safe environment to be themselves in a learning setting ..... and then choosing to read.

As they say to me ... "What do I have to lose by not reading Nora? ... Everything."

Changing Lives ~ One Book at A Time.

I'm signing off to read ....
Namaste,
nora

Elizabeth Gilbert - Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

2010-01-14T07:39:00.000-08:00

I fell in love with the book Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia (Elizabeth Gilbert). As so did most readers (and non readers) - 5 million copies in print.

I lived Gilbert's year long trip to Rome, Mumbai and Bali. Searching and finding along with her. I discussed this book with others. And even had a friend who chose to vacation in Bali for a month as a result of Eat, Pray, Love. At the age of thirty-three, Gilbert experiences a horrific divorce that has left her paralyzed. So, the story, that most of us know already, unfolds. She was done with marriage or relationships, and began the search. After Rome and Mumbai ... she ends up meeting (and falling in love with) Felipe who’d been living in Indonesia. Both of them swore fidelity to each other but not marriage.

Gilbert's second memoir hit the book stores earlier this month .... Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage. I'm eager to, once again, fall in love with the passion that Gilbert lives in ...

Gilbert has hit the road with Committed ... I'm looking forward to seeing her on January 30th in Marina Del Rey, a short bike ride from my house (interestingly enough at Costco - signing books). Glibert's Talk, Q&A and signing looks more interesting in Pasadena the night before ... (but Pasadena on a Friday night at 7pm, does not sound as interesting).

New York Times Book Review ... Eat, Pray, Marry

Namaste,
nora

My Journey OF Living Mindfully

2010-01-11T23:35:00.000-08:00

I began this blog a few years ago with the intent of writing about "My Journey to Living Mindfully." As I've re-read many Blog entries, and reflected this weekend on the past 4-5 years of my life ... I realized that (whether cognizant or not) this journey is not the journey I desire. The journey I desire is ... "My Journey OF Living Mindfully." I am not striving to become mindful. I need to BE mindful. The wording of it makes so much more sense, and also why the "to" does not make sense. And also why these past years I have moved from one spiritual revelation to the next, and have lived and loved. Learned. Reflected. Laughed. Rejoiced. The thing is though ... I kept moving "to" but never fully "in." Make sense?

This "to" thing ... it's like reaching for a goal that we know is obtainable but since I'm going towards it - then there is room for laziness, excuses as to why the goal has not been reached, reason for blame and judgement, undesirable behavior surfacing as I move towards the goal. No, I want to live the goal. Make sense? I want to be the goal. I am living mindfully. I am not moving towards mindfulness. This struck a cord with relationships I have chosen to become involved with the past three years. Chosen to be in as I moved "to" a state of mindfulness. I was striving to make the relationships work, or to return to something I had ... Not mindful at all. I became so unsettled by this revelation on Saturday night that I sat on my bedroom floor at 1am (after not being able to sleep due to racing thoughts of what the fuck have I've been doing these past years) and read journal entries from 2006 to present. I am so thankful I started journaling during my early teen years and have continued (with only a few breaks). It was all there in the journals. In black and white. My writing does not lie. My writing is personal entries to God ... I read and read and read. My writing is brutally honest and raw. My writing is in the moment. One journal entry stated (after two months into a relationship) - "... this is not working. I know it, and I need to end it. She seems nice enough as a friend, but this is nothing I desire for a partnership ... " Well, a year later that relationship ended. Living mindfully? No. Trying to live mindfully? Sure. And I can go on and on about the revelations from reading my journals. Mostly relationship revelations; along with some work and family stuff - the common denominator in it all is me.

What I do know is that prior to 2001, I dated women because they wanted me. And after 2006, I became involved in relationships to re-create something that I once had (or continue where "that" relationship ended) ... None of these women were people I could see myself growing old with, having a family or even just living in the moment with ... Living mindfully? No. Trying to? Yes. Sure I was. ... It has to stop though. I cannot strive to live mindfully in relationships that are not working. I need to be living mindfully to observe, describe, participate, be effective. I cannot strive to live mindfully in all areas of my life. I need to live mindfully in all areas of my life ... to observe, describe, participate and be effective.

When the pain of staying where you're at becomes greater than the pain of changing ... Change happens. My pain is greater than my fear to change. I'm ready. I am on my knees. I'm ready to live mindfully. No more striving to ... I am here God. I am present. I am mindful. My journey of living mindfully --

Namaste,

nora

Great hiking in Topanga State Park.

2010-01-10T23:33:00.000-08:00

Fisseha showed up at my house yesterday ready to play basketball, but I took him hiking instead! Awesome Hike. Beautiful LA day! He hiked in his bright Laker Jersey, and me in my hiking gear!

Awesome day in Topanga State Park. Three hours of living and breathing nature in Los Angeles. Living and breathing nature. I have done this hike often over the past three years - and no day, has been as clear as yesterday. Sometimes I cant even see the ocean ... This hike we could see to Catalina Island and beyond. Spectacular views of the Pacific Ocean. The water appeared to be standing still as the sun glistened off of it ... Then we hiked down into the canyon ... down, down and there was actually WATER at the "waterfall" area. And it was so green (not green like Durham, North Carolina was this past May - but it was green!). Hikers are the best too ... We love to greet each other, and even held a few conversations with folks.

My legs were aching a bit in the evening ... but the ache felt so good. Until the next hike.

Namaste,

nora

Loving this -

2010-01-10T23:13:00.000-08:00

I'm loving this (big smile) ... my friend Liana in Pennsylvania has begun Feeding the World - One Bowl at a Time . "... once a month I'm making soup for a homeless shelter of about 20 men." Inspired from my Book Club for Parolees, Changing Lives - One Book at a Time. She'll be asking for donations ... the same way my Book Club is designed. Caring people in my life - donating money and books for my parolees (without expecting anything in return). Caring people in Liana's life - donating money and goods to make soup for homeless men. That one bowl of homemade soup, created by many people - will change a man's life. Its inevitable.

I love this! Take an idea and run with it. There's no time to waste. We all may perish tomorrow. Get into action now. Live fully today. Take care of you fully today, so we can always be present for each other. We all need to do our part. Get inspired from each other, and lets make love to the world ... one moment at a time.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead.

namaste,
nora

Stanford vs USC and UCLA

2010-01-07T21:15:00.000-08:00

I love my basketball. One of my favorite Christmas gifts this year was a Peace, Love and Basketball t-shirt from Kim.

Stanford is in town this weekend ... playing USC on Friday night, and UCLA on Sunday. This has been one of my favorite weekends since moving to Los Angeles (the weekend of Stanford traveling south to play USC and UCLA). It feels the void of years of attending regularly at Stanford games with Kim, Loran, my family and whoever else.

The Sparks have become involved in USC womens basketball this season due to head coach, Michael Cooper. The Sparks offered season ticket holders a reduced price on USC tickets and halftime events with Sparks folks. Looking forward being back in the beautiful USC's Galen Center. And at UCLA's Pauley Pavillion.

I have my Stanford Women's Basketball t-shirt ironed. :-) Ready to root for my Cardinals this weekend.

Namaste,

nora

Ready for The Golden Globes?

2010-01-07T20:55:00.000-08:00

Ready for 67th The Golden Globes Award on January 17th?

I'm reviewing the nominations. I have a few films on my list to view ... Just received Inglourious Basterds via Netflix. Need to carve out 2.5 hours for that one. Watched Food, Inc. tonight (Upton Sinclair is rolling over in his grave). Eat healthy, shop at Farmers Markets, eat organic, read labels - not just for you but for the environment.

Oh, I love this time of year. Movies. Movies. Movies.
More movie reporting from my corner later ...

Namaste,
nora

Cuddle Parties

2010-01-03T15:01:00.000-08:00

A San Francisco friend was telling me about Cuddle Parties as we talked on the phone yesterday afternoon. She's had real good experiences at these events. I enjoyed hearing her talk of the encounters ... So, of course I looked up if there were any in Los Angeles. It looks like LA did have Cuddle Parties some time ago ... but no longer. The closest is Joshua Tree. The concept is in alignment with my belief of intimacy. The benefits of touch! Oh how I have yearned for this since moving to Southern California. Not that San Francisco is the mecca of everything ... but it is what I know ... And I miss my cuddling, affectionate, safe and fun friendships. I am growing into my life in Los Angeles. 2009 definitely felt a shift, and I am eager to see what 2010 holds. A friend told me before I moved that it'd take five years to be settled enough to call SoCal my home. Well, I spent a year in Riverside and now three years in LA. So, three years in one location. That means 2 more years to go to call Los Angeles my home? I'm smiling. I had a great day today .... Church this morning, a walk at the beach, home to read this afternoon ... Now I'm getting ready to swing by Bodhi Tree Bookstore before meeting a friend for coffee and then a meeting. Back to work tomorrow. It's been a mellow four days off of work. Thank you God --

What a Cuddle Party Is: A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy and affection. A drug and alcohol-free way to meet fascinating people in a relaxing environment. A laboratory where you can experiment with what makes you feel safe and feel good.

Go Cuddle my friends .... Life is too short to not -
Namaste,
nora

New Years Resolutions - Skirball Cultural Center

2010-01-02T15:17:00.000-08:00

I've never been big on New Years Resolutions. Not sure why; other than it's not been my thing ... It's important to reflect on the previous year, and look to the new year. I have ongoing goals, and new stuff (issues) that pops up all the time to work on or called to tackle new projects.

Last year - I made a conscious decision to find a spiritual community in Los Angeles. I had been keenly aware this was an area seriously lacking for me for a couple years, and I passionately desire finding a church or spiritual community with like minded people. My Spiritual Exploration Sunday lasted for many months. I attended various churches, denominations, spiritual centers and met a lot of wonderful people. I still have not found a spiritual home and community though. That quest remains incomplete; but still determined to find "my home."

This year, my journey to living mindfully includes - visiting museums in Los Angeles. I love the arts. Attending a Broadway Musical; watching a movie (and another movie); reading and discussing books; my own writing & photography, listening to Opera music at home; feeling the vibes at a Michael Franti concert; spoken word; poetry slams; attending an art gallery opening, a comedy show, having tea with friends discussing the latest film or independent art house play production and simply looking through the LA Weekly at "whats coming to town."

I am moved and inspired by art.

I am moved an inspired by art.

I am ALIVE when I'm involved in a novel. Or listening to music that vibrates my soul. Or gazing at the works of a photographer. Or hearing a poet speak their words. Or sitting in a movie theatre watching a film that rattles my mind, body and spirit. Or flipping through pages of one of my favorite artists that I splurged to purchase their book. Or discussing a book with a friend over tea. Or wandering through a used book store for hours.

I am moved and inspired by art.

With that being said - I have only been to a few museums in Los Angeles over the past three years. My New Years Resolution is to visit more museums. Its an obtainable, realistic, enriching and enjoyable goal!

This morning I visited the Skirball Cultural Center. What an impressive museum. Rachel and I visited the Noah's Ark exhibit first. The Ark had docked, and we became immersed in the exhibit of the creatively designed animals and structures. Then we moved on to Road to Freedom: Photographs of the Civil Rights Movement, 1956–1968 and Breach of Peace: Photographs of Freedom Riders by Eric Etheridge.

Powerful exhibits were viewed ... that had me smiling ... in deep reflection ... inspired to create my own art ... empowered by the artists.

And eager to take in the next Los Angeles museum.

Today ... "Breach of Peace displays Etheridge's photographs of several Freedom Riders, now senior citizens, alongside their original mug shots. The exhibition examines their involvement in the Civil Rights movement, takes a look at who they are today, and shares their unique perspectives on that historical period."

Until the next museum.,

Namaste -

nora

Book Club for Parolees - New Year

2010-01-01T22:31:00.000-08:00

The participants in the Book Club for Parolees held a dynamic and interesting discussion this past Wednesday night. The 18 men had finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson (Mitch Albom). Discussions involved the role of mentors in our lives; not fearing death; dying with dignity; traditions/rituals; and treasuring the moment. This months book was entirely donated by Meredith. It was such a treat to kick back and listen to the guys discussing the book back and forth for two hours. I had the pleasure of re-reading the book, and mostly listened to the discussion (with an occasional comment). The guys look to me mostly for acknowledgement or approval as they speak. I remember the first time I read this book, I was writing a term paper on death and dying (around 1999). As I searched for books in the library I came across Tuesdays with Morrie. I recognized the title, since it had been on the best seller list. In my usual style of procrastination ... I sat in the library that night and devoured the book, while leaving the term paper for another day. I was so moved by the intimate moments shared between Morrie and Mitch, and reflecting on the role of mentors in my life. What a gift it was to bring this book to the Book Club for Parolee participants.

I provided the guys a list of three books (and synopsis) to choose from for January and February. I gratefully received book inputs from friends and family that evening. The book selected for January is Blind Side, Michael Lewis (which was recently made into a movie). I have yet to see the movie (and might have to go by myself, since some folks seem to be having a problem with seeing Sandra Bullock on the screen!) ... my mother said it was an excellent movie, but it was my younger brother who read the book and recommended it for reading. The book for February will be Life of Pi (Yann Martell). A book suggested by Rachel, which I have read ... oh, back around 2004 or so. What a memorable book ... I clearly remember reflecting on my spiritual struggle, as Pi was doing the same out at sea. I am looking forward to book club discussions to gain new insight into the complex layers of this incredible story. (and to read the book again myself)

I am so grateful and humbled by the Book Club's support from my family and friends. This truly has been a magical project for me.

Namaste,
nora

A day with my Aunt ..

2009-12-31T13:28:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed last Sunday with mom, dad, my aunt and Sister Lydia. Aunt Noreen (who is a nun) is now stationed at St. Thomas the Apostle in San Francisco. My aunt is back in the Richmond district, where she was born and raised. She entered Sisters of St Joseph of Carondelet order in her teens. Devoted her life to God, to service. Aunt Noreen was always a constant in my life growing up. She was always present ... in person or by writing letters. As a kid, we would visit her often at St. James in Redondo Beach, and stayed at the Convent. What fun it was to vacation in such a sacred place; that felt so comfortable. She's held many positions since becoming a nun ... from teacher, to school principal (at a few schools), Director of Development at Carondelet Center, and so much more. My siblings and I spent time with her many "nun friends" also, who loved us. I saw how people adored my Aunt, and appreciated the role she played in their lives. This past Sunday, along with my family, I had breakfast with Sister Lydia - who is stationed at a church in Los Angeles and has been a part of my Aunts life for many, many years (which means she has been a part of my life). I've seen the community of friends my aunt had created. The love. The light. The dedication. I also saw again how my aunt moved around St. Thomas the Apostle church with ease on Sunday, greeting people ... and how their faces lit up when they saw her ...

I am very grateful for the influence my aunt has had on me ... She is a social worker to the core serving God. Thankfully, I followed in her footsteps.

Namaste,

nora

All is well ...

2009-12-26T23:18:00.000-08:00

Spent the day with family. Hanging out together. Talking. Enjoying food. Loving my nieces and nephews. Tonight ... enjoyed Japanese food, saw A Single Man at the Kabuki Theatre and enjoyed The City with good friends. Great night! All is (truly) well --

A Single Man was an excellent movie. The music, pace of movie ... actors. The full package. Perfect. I read the book (by Christopher Isherwood) during undergraduate in a Gay Literature class in 2000 ... recently discovered it on my bookshelf. Can't wait to get home and read it again. I loved that Gay Lit class so much. Introduced me to a world of gay authors that had been untouched.

The rain is coming down hard in San Francisco. Snuggled warm inside. I'm getting ready to dive into another book on my "book list." Everything feels right. I have fallen in love all over again ... In love with life. Looking forward to Sunday ...

What is the meaning of Christmas ?????

More to be revealed ...

Namaste,

nora

Christ the Savior is born ...

2009-12-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

... Christ the Savior is born. Now pass the Sparkling Martinelli's Cider.

One of the best Christmas' ever. Awesome family, conversation, joy, laughs, fun. Opening up gifts from Santa this morning. Beautiful church service. (and beautiful walk to and from church.) Scott cooked another delicious dinner. 2 on 2 basketball in the backyard before dinner (John and I beat Paul and Jacob). Audrey Rose riding her three wheeler. Loving my parents. They were celebrating with their children and grandchildren. Being loved! Loving my in laws. Watching UP with John. All is well. On the heels of a glorious Christmas Eve gathering.

Rejoice!

The meaning of Christmas ... More to be revealed!

Namaste.

- nora

Christmas Eve

2009-12-24T22:30:00.000-08:00

More to be revealed, right? I was slammed with an awakening less than two weeks ago, and made a committment to get into action. Its been a glorious time of living in the moment. This evening Christmas Eve was shared with all of my family. 18 people at the dinner table. Family. Love. Unity. What a magical evening. Or actually the whole day ... Or we can take it back to getting off the airplaine at SFO with Kim and Loran waiting for me on Wednesday night. Enjoying an evening with friends. Spending Christmas Eve day with John and Jacob. Both of them helping me wrap Christmas gifts. Walking to Starbucks with Jacob. Talks with my sister. And Christmas Eve with all my family.

The meaning of Christmas? More to be revealed ... I'm ready though. God - I am ready. Take me as I am ....

Namaste,

nora

Dear Johnny ...

2009-12-22T22:32:00.001-08:00

Dear Johnny - I was at your wake tonight. They were all speaking in Spanish. Didn't know what was they was saying, but it felt good. All the Spanish Speaking women talking so fast and loud, and the men talking low. I sat for a good 90 minutes thinking about things we did, and who you are to me. I chuckled a few times. I know if you were there you would have punched me in the arm, and we would have been whispering to each other. I miss you Johnny. I sat in some dumb ass traffic out to East LA tonight. But its all good. I love you. Your mom recognized me from my hospital visits. I would have liked to have met her sooner. Your brother was there ... He said some good shit to say about you. He looks like an alright dude. Family comes together in time of crisis Johnny, just wish more of us knew how to do it all the time. I know you were so sensitive. I understood that. Your two girls were there, and your ex wife. Your girls have that Southern accent. Big girls. Are you sure they're yours? :-) All three of them spoke well about you. Straight from the heart. Liz was sitting behind me. There were baby pictures of you, and later on in life. Cute. I didnt get to see much of Chubs. I saw a little in high school. When you did you get so big fool? I miss you. There was that picture of you on your motorcycle. You know the ones that you had all around your desk that I used to tease you about. You had more pictures of yourself on your walls than I did. ... I gave you a kiss on the cheek. Your skin was cold. You looked alright. Someone put a Dodgers bat in your coffin. You'd like that. A lot of people came out for you tonight Johnny. People loved you man. I kept playing Beautiful Boy on the drive home. You are my beautiful boy. Im not gonna make it to the funeral tomorrow. I have work, then I'm flying to San Francisco. I know you'd be okay with that ... I'll catch up with you later. Love you Johnny.

Namaste,
nora

Christimas Decor and more ...

2009-12-18T22:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas ornaments, Advent Calendar, Nutcrackers, snow globes, wreaths, welcome mat, candy dishes, lights, candle holders, candles, table clothes, place mats, napkins and other Holiday decorations - have been packed tightly for five years ago. The cute little fake Christmas Tree was tossed over the balcony and into the dumpster sometime this year. The Holiday CDs have played, but a few of my favorites have been left unheard the past 5 years. You'd think that I did not enjoy Christmas, right? But, you'd be far from the truth. This is one of my favorite times of year. Some of the anti-Christmas celebrating becamed mixed up in sharing a home, a life with a partner though. And when that ended, so did the Holiday in my Home. This year I am taking back what I gave away -

Oh, how I love Advent ... the expecting, waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus and Christmas. The special time shared with family. The look of wonder in my nieces and nephews eyes. Sharing the Holiday Season with friends. The red scarves, the warm sweaters, and hats.

Last Sunday I sat in First Congregational Church of Los Angeles, and rejoiced in the bright red colors, the hanging wreaths, festive music sung by the choir, the moving sermon .... The anticipation of the birth of Jesus. He is coming. We are waiting His arrival. Embracing the art work of Paul Woelfel's Annunciation. An angel has come to tell Mary the good news. I spent the rest of the day with Johnny at Alhambra Hospital's ICU. Softly talking with him, sharing the good news of how much his life had impacted mine. Caressing his forehead, kissing his hands and cheek.

A lot had happened this week to challenge my faith. As I spoke with a friend early this week she said, " Your buddy, you know that guy you like so much ... Jesus? From what I understand, he wasn't perfect." As I spoke of feelings of being a hypocrite. No, Jesus was not perfect, and neither am I ... ... I fell to my knees this week time and time again ... weeping in desperation. Asking God for guidance. I listened. And have been guided.

And within this week - I realized just how much I have missed celebrating Christmas in my home. Decorating the Christmas Tree, holiday music playing the whole month, hosting dinner parties, baking, walking into a warm home that was in a state of anticipation and excitement for the arrival of Jesus. Attending church. Talking with friends about the meaning of Advent.

An internal awareness was brought a week ago when I had the opportunity to ice skate with my clients at the LA Live Center. I didn't know what was moving within me, but it shook. I didn't make time to pay attention to it though. Too much was happening. This past week, I came face to face with my stumbling humanity and face to face with the death of Johnny J. I had to listen, and reflect.

Today I pulled out the boxes that have been taped closed the past five years. I opened recent Christmas presents of Holiday Decor that had been looked at briefly and then closed. One from my nephew that had a note, " I found this in my school holiday store, and thought of you." That was at least two years ago, and had tucked it deep in a storage box.

I decorated my home today. Just a little bit. Opened the boxes enough to know that this chapter of my life is over. I am allowing Christmas into my home again. Memories of five years ago came flooding in, terribly uncomfortable, and I sat with the feelings and journaled.

The red candles are burning. The candy dishes are full. My collection of Nutcrackers are on my end table. The Holiday Cards and family Christmas photos fill my coffee table. Lights are strung. Christmas Music is playing. (Even the CDs that have not been played in five years.) I'm getting ready to watch Home Alone this weekend. One of my favorite Holiday movies. And I'll be baking cookies. I'm reading a Christmas Novel by Wally Lamb (Wishin' and Hopin').

I sat in two 12 step meetings today. Had a therapy session. Walked the beach at 4pm and watched the magnificent sunset. Wrote Holiday Cards to loved ones. Decorated my home. Talked with friends & family. Having breakfast with a family friend visiting from out of town in the morning. Meeting another friend later in the afternoon. Coffee together with yet another friend before 12 Step meeting tomorrow night. Looking forward to church on Sunday. And going home on Wednesday, to be with my family. To rejoice ...

What is the meaning of Christmas this year? More to be revealed ...

Namaste,

nora

Johnny Jauregui died this morning

2009-12-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

Johnny Jauregui died this morning. He struggled for so long. He's not in pain anymore. I'm so grateful I was able to sit with him this week in ICU.

Ive never witnessed someone living with illness who was so damn positive. There was acceptance years ago that filled his betraying body. He chose LIFE, as his body was failing. He humbled me, time and time again. Two weeks before I took my second LCSW exam ... he was in so much pain, but came to my home and brought me lunch and we chopped it up they way we did. Keeping it real. We didnt have time to NOT be real about our lives, and keeping to real with each other. .... That day - him reminding me that this exam, was just an exam. Him talking about his health and his relationship. More just about life ... he never dwelled long on talking about his failing medical condition. (that same day he brought a dozen books - Beautiful Boy - for Book Club for Parolees).

Johnny always said I was his hero ... How much he admired me. How smart he thought I was ... You'd call me up asking me questions as if I really knew. You trusted me though. I get it. But you were my teacher Johnny, you were my hero, ... You showed me how you came from hell and back ... and got your life together, and were gonna live it. We gotta live it to the fullest despite our circumstances. Stumble and fall, and get right back up. No room to sit in pity or not get into action to live fully.

Go buy a new motorcycle in heaven Johnny, and ride it.

Gonna miss you ...

Namaste,

nora

Breathing Easier

2009-12-06T21:33:00.000-08:00

My first weekend of doing NOTHING in a long, long time. Forgot how it felt like to wake up, and not already have the day planned. Although I did not pass the second LCSW exam on 11/07, and I still feel the weight of the year on my shoulders (and what next years studying will bring soon) ... I am breathing easier right now. November was filled with activity ... San Diego getaway, work in San Francisco for a few days, QCamp in San Bernandino and then to SF again for Thanksgiving.

A long walk on the beach on Saturday morning was such a delight (to not have to look at my watch and see what time studying needed to begin). Lunch and conversation at The Grove with Meredith. Taking in all the sights and sounds of the holidays. Enjoying the company. Followed by coffee with a friend before my Saturday night NA Meeting in Hollywood (that I have missed so much). Im beginning to go through "my stuff" that has piled up at home for most of the year. I worked on my mom & dad and Aunt Noreen's 2010 Kodak Holiday Calendar. A long standing tradition of mine. This years Calendars are looking really good! I re-started my Netflix subscription again! Joyfully tackling my long reading list. I've been lost in Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed. (what a story teller he is .... A gift to literature.) Embracing this time to "just be." And Im okay with no relationship, ... more time to be present for myself, friends and family. Enjoyed Friday night with George & Steph ... enjoying dinner at Junior's and seeing the thought provoking movie Up In the Air. Yes, embracing the days to follow ... Breathing in, breathing out.

Reflection during Advent Season.

Namaste,

nora